Breaking the 'Earn and Burn' Cycle, with Non-Diet RD Amanda Bullat

I invited Amanda Bullat onto the podcast this week to tell HER story.

 Amanda became interested in nutrition while training as a competitive distance runner in her early 20s but her passion for running and food became a double-edged sword, as she developed her own disordered relationship with food and exercise.

After many years of personal struggle and a real commitment to recovery,  she was able to reclaim her love of food and movement. *

In this episode, we focus on when is enough enough, when it comes to movement.  When we start un-dieting our relationship with movement, how do we actually start listening to our bodies,  and break free from the earn-and-burn cycle?

We discuss the following topics:

• What does 'enough' exercise look like?
• How do we know if we are doing too much?
• Is it actually possible to enjoy movement all the time?
• Is it ok to workout even if we don't feel like it?
• How do we know if our body needs rest or if we just feel demotivated as we have a human brain?
• Is it ok to use movement for emotional regulation?  What happens if we get stuck in that pattern and then movement becomes a 'should' or a 'must'?

If you have thought about your own relationship with movement recently, you will really benefit from this feisty discussion.  I loved it and can't wait to have Amanda back on for part 2!

Amanda and I both work together as part of the Midlife Feast Community run by Dr Jenn Salib Huber (@menopause.nutritionist).  This community is perfect for you if you are navigating those peri to post menopause years, are done with dieting and restricting and just need a little handholding.

If you would like to work with Amanda herself, she often hangs out on Instagram or  she can be contacted through her website here.

**Amanda specializes in supporting women through the perimenopause, and menopause transition and uses the frameworks of Intuitive Eating, Health At Every Size®, and the therapeutic Be Body Positive Model® created by The Body Positive.

Please reach out if you would like some support with your relationship to food OR movement. Ela currently has limited spaces for Intuitive Eating coaching and if you'd like to reconnect with movement, contact Christine.

AND if you enjoyed this episode, please share and follow the 'Find Your Strong podcast' and if you have time, write us a short review. It would honestly mean the world. Love to you all, Ela & Christine x

Transcript

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Christine Chessman: Are you trying to undiat your relationship to movement? You know. Maybe you're trying to untangle weight loss from movement.

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Christine Chessman: But you still want to build that muscle mass, increase your bone density, and you're wondering how much is too much.

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Christine Chessman: And and when do you know that enough is enough. You know you hear everything, people saying, Let's listen to your body. How do we listen to our bodies? How do we know when to stop? How do we know when we're leading with self compassion. How do we know when we're punishing ourselves? There's a lot of nuance here that this is not a black and white conversation.

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Christine Chessman: and it's a conversation I have with my good friend Amanda Bullet, who is, as she calls herself, an on diet dietician and certified intuitive, aiding counselor.

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Christine Chessman: She herself has been to diet rock bottom, and has come out the other side and found that non diet space. She works with her clients to create actionable steps so they can stop feeling chaotic around food, something which she talks to us about during the podcast she also helps her clients find that compassion for their ever-changing bodies.

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Christine Chessman: I'm feeling part

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Christine Chessman: to live and to make room for living.

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Christine Chessman: So this is a great conversation, and I really think you're gonna enjoy it. So with slight further ado. here's the episode.

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Christine Chessman: Welcome to the podcast. Amanda. How are you?

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Amanda Bullat RD: Hi, Christine! It's so great to be here with you. I'm excited to be on the show, and for our conversation it's gonna be great.

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Christine Chessman: Yes, I warned you just before we hit record that my brand is a popcorn brand, and we may be going off on several tangents.

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Christine Chessman: I really am interested

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Christine Chessman: in your story, and I ask this of a lot of my guests, because how do we end up in the non diet space, and as much as we surround ourselves with people in this space, it is still quite a small space.

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Christine Chessman: And I just, I'm interested to know how you moved and how you shifted into the non diet space.

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Amanda Bullat RD: Yeah. So I guess my journey really kind of starts like, how did I even get into nutrition period, and I'll do my best to give you the cliff note version of it. and that I was a competitive Marathon runner as competitive competitive distance runner.

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Amanda Bullat RD: and I also, about that same time that I started my my competitive athletic career. I had also moved over to Salzburg, Austria, for a year of my undergrad

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Amanda Bullat RD: schooling, and during that time I was like Hmm, gosh! I wonder what would happen if my body changed while I was over here. A bit of it. If folks have seen the movie Sabrina with Harrison Ford and Julia Ormond, and that's the remake, anyway. But the whole premise around. Sabrina is

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Amanda Bullat RD: young girl who isn't really thought of much of anything. You know. Typical girl next door situation. Guys don't really notice her. Whatever she gets this scholarship to go study in Europe, she goes study in Europe, and she turns into this kind of much more attractive, sophisticated woman. Through her experience living in Europe.

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Amanda Bullat RD: So it's a bit of an ugly duckled story, you might say.

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Amanda Bullat RD: Anyway, she comes back and her next door neighbors, these brothers who she'd been infatuated with all of her years growing up suddenly. They're noticing her. So I had watched that movie, the Remake movie, anyway, had come out not long before I left for Salzburg, Austria. And so I had a bit of this Sabrina syndrome. We'll call it going. Hmm! I wonder what will happen if my body changes. So I had already started running. It was runner in high school.

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Amanda Bullat RD: and so, being a runner, was was not nothing new for me. But in Salzburg, Austria, some of my classmates decided, well, hey, it's the turning of the millennium like. Wouldn't it be cool if we ran a marathon, and then one of those classmates family members said, and hey, wouldn't it be cool if you qualified for the Boston Marathon while you were at it.

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Amanda Bullat RD: So we had in this idea in our mind, like, Okay, we're gonna go train and run for this Marathon. And here's the qualifying time for our age group for Boston. The the guys that I was running with they didn't really care as much about that, but my mind, like fixated on that. So started running a whole bunch. And of course, like we didn't know anything about marathon training.

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Amanda Bullat RD: We're just like, let's go out and run for 3 h. Okay, cool if we can run for 3 h we can. We can probably finish a marathon. So that's what we did. I went, and I ran my first marathon in Graz, Austria, and I came within seconds of qualifying for Boston

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Amanda Bullat RD: in my age group. And so that kind of sparked this. Okay, I'm a distance runner. Let's do this

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Amanda Bullat RD: at the same time, as you can probably imagine, through all of that running and being in a foreign country. You're not as used to the food, and I did have a bit of an orthorexia brain when it came to food. And what's healthy? So of course my weight changed. I lost quite a bit of weight in that year

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Amanda Bullat RD: through those various reasons. So I come back to the Us. And people are like Whoa! All of a sudden, you're this fast runner like what happened? This is awesome. And I became somewhat of a I'm not gonna say local celebrity, but I was up there in terms of the local runners performance athletes in the area that I lived hometown in the Us. So that all kind of fueled like this identity of I'm this competitive athlete. People know me as this competitive athlete.

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Amanda Bullat RD: So therefore, I needed to maintain that edge and that edge with my weight, that edge with my athleticism, and that was all fine and dandy. I went on to to do Boston. I qualified for Boston twice ran it twice I qualified for an Ncaa. Division, one cross country team with my home university. Which is the the for folks that aren't familiar. That's the top level of Collegi athletics in the Us.

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And so I ran for them for 2 years. So so I was in it. I was doing it, and I was, course maintaining this body. To do that. Eventually, long story short, my body starts breaking. I get chronic injuries because you're over, trained and under fuel.

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Amanda Bullat RD: and so that didn't. That didn't last very long. It lasted until my mid to late twenties, and then my body was just was done. So I had a bit of this reckoning going okay? Well, my body can no longer burn off calories the same way that it used to, and I had very much been in that mindset of earn or burn your food.

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Amanda Bullat RD: And so there was a bit of a reckoning there, too, going. Oh, I gotta get my gotta get my relationship with food situated. This is not going well, obviously get my relationship with exercise situated, too, because I had seen. I loved being a distance runner, so don't don't miss here that I love the community. I love being fast. I loved winning races that was all awesome. And yeah, I'll be honest. I loved my smaller body.

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Amanda Bullat RD: I loved the attention that it came from. I think many of the women that you and I work with. They'll say the same thing, and we hate that. Our body didn't maintain that.

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Amanda Bullat RD: And so there was a lot of reckoning. There was a lot of unraveling, as we often say when we're talking about undiating. There was a lot of unraveling that needed to happen for me, both in my relationship with exercise, my relationship with food and my relationship with my body

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Amanda Bullat RD: and my relationships like this fear of well, am I still gonna be noticeable? Am I still gonna be attractive to the male gaze. Am I gonna find a partner, right? All of those ideas that initially got me into being in the smaller body being that desirable person. And yeah, being a pretty amazing athlete at the same time. But that wasn't the

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Amanda Bullat RD: initial. Why am I doing this? Remember the ugly duckling story was like, I want to be noticed when when I come back. So

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Amanda Bullat RD: lots of unraveling so for a long time, so after undergrad I moved back home. To Central Oregon Bend, Oregon did my a athlete thing, did my training and my Marathon days, and then I decided because I was a Marathon runner and and was into nutrition again.

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Amanda Bullat RD: Little bit orthorexia version of nutrition. But I was into it. And so I thought, well, okay, I need to go to grad school in something.

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Amanda Bullat RD: because I had just graduated with a bachelors in history. And you either gonna go to grad school to teach. You're gonna go to law school like something. You gotta do something. Well, because of that fascination with food, with exercise sport. I decided to go to grad school for nutrition, which meant I had to do 180 degree switch in terms of the classes that I had take Prerex in nutrition, anatomy, physiology, all that.

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Amanda Bullat RD: and went and got a master's in nutrition, and it was through doing that, masters in nutrition that the light bulb went on, and go. Oh.

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Amanda Bullat RD: I'm doing more harm to my body than good cause. I thought I was doing all the right things. I'm super active, I eat super healthy. Everybody says I'm doing the right thing right. I'm I'm getting those the the praise

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Amanda Bullat RD: it turns out. No, no, I was not doing the right thing, and I learned the science behind

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Amanda Bullat RD: what? How I was breaking my body.

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Amanda Bullat RD: So I was both going through my own recovery from the disordered eating, the disordered relationship with movement, and I was gaining this professional degree that was informing me of like, here's how you're screwing up, really. So again, lots more unraveling. And I graduated with my masters in nutrition and dietetics and became a dietician. And when I finished that it just didn't feel quite right to immediately start working with people

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Amanda Bullat RD: because I wasn't. Still, I was not. I was not fully healed yet. I was much better. My weight was stable, my body wasn't broken anymore. I wasn't running anymore. But I was starting to to bike.

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Amanda Bullat RD: Hi can do other things that as you often say, like movement that brings you joy. Instead of I was starting to disconnect that I'm earning and burning my food, and I'm doing movement that I enjoy. But I still wasn't in that place to start working with people. So it took me

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Amanda Bullat RD: probably 5, 6 years before I started nutrition, counselling again with with people. and when I entered into that nutrition counseling space. I was just really fortunate that the colleagues and the people that I ran into mentors were more of the health at every size mindset, when I was going through grad school and first learning nutrition

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Amanda Bullat RD: held at every size was there. Intuitive eating was there, but that was not part of the curriculum I was taught. I was taught the very standardized weight centric model of healthcare

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and nutrition care.

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Amanda Bullat RD: So I was just fortunate that through those 5 6 years of not practicing as a nutrition counselor things kinda caught up in terms of how our colleagues, many of our colleagues, were starting to speak about health at every size intuitive meeting became even more popular, so that as I joint joined my first private group practice, that was kind of the foundation that we were counseling folks from. So really I didn't had to do some unlearning, of course, of the

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Amanda Bullat RD: all the curriculum, the dietetic curriculum that I was taught in grad school, but not a ton, and I was more taught in that private group practice how to kind of pivot some of that education we were given.

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Amanda Bullat RD: and say it with clients in a more health at every size and intuitive eating, informed way, and that really resonated with me, because, as remember as I'm sitting there in grad school, I'm recovering from my own eating disorder. So there were many things that we were learning in grad school that I'd be like, you know, if I wasn't in my own recovery, this would be teaching me the tools to keep going with my eating disorder.

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Amanda Bullat RD: It would be teaching me the tools to keep writing this really fine line of how many calories, how many macros, all of that. And and I'm gonna get a professional license that says that I can. I can maintain this fine line, and there's nothing wrong with that, and I can even encourage other people

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Amanda Bullat RD: to get their own disordered relationship with food. So there was a lot during grad school that I'm sitting there going. Huh? There's a lot that's not sitting quite well with me in terms of, but it wasn't to the point of gosh! If I have, I chosen the wrong career path, but because I took that break, I think, from grad school, settled my own relationship with food and exercise, and then started

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Amanda Bullat RD: moving into nutrition, counselling, surrounded by people that were part of this health at every size and intuitive eating space and went, okay, now this I can do this feels more sustainable, more compassionate, more pulling people out of the dumpster fire of diet culture than me contributing

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Amanda Bullat RD: to keeping the fire going of diac culture, the dumpster fire of diet culture going so long. Story short. That's how that's how I ended up in this space. It was very much personal journey.

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Amanda Bullat RD: As well as professional journey, very tightly woven together. On learning, on dieting all the uns that we talk about with our clients, and if folks are interested, there's more of a complete story with that in the Uk version of women's fitness that came out. I believe it's the November. It's either the October, the November issue. I think you can access it online. So if people want to hear more of the full story, it's there. So.

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Christine Chessman: And you know, I really appreciate you sharing that amount of there's so many touch points there the whole way through. I'm like, Oh, wow! Wow! And the the relationship with running is something that resonates with me. And I was never a competitive Marathon runner, but I was

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Christine Chessman: seen as a fast Marathon runner.

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I'm seeing, as you know. II got decent times for my age, and

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Christine Chessman: but I'm interested to know how on earth you ran a marathon. Did you?

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Did you

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Christine Chessman: do any research about how to fuel

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Christine Chessman: to run the Marathon cause you search, said by the end of of the spell of running marathons your body was broken. So had you educated yourself in terms of fueling for the Marathons, or did you?

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It sort of tread that fine line and and only eat what you had to? I'm just interested because it's

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Christine Chessman: to be able to run a fast Marathon and not be

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feeling correctly. As you say it is, it's gonna cause issues

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Amanda Bullat RD: for sure.

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Amanda Bullat RD: 2 things there, I mean, II was into food. Remember, like being that athlete is how I kind of got interested in food. So I was doing research. But as we know, we gotta be careful on where we're getting our research from.

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Amanda Bullat RD: Quote unquote research.

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I will say that I did. I don't remember how I stumbled upon it. In fact, I think maybe it was. My mom found a book by Nancy Clark, who is a dietician, a sports-specific dietician.

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Amanda Bullat RD: And she had written a book on How to fuel for

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Amanda Bullat RD: think for athletics in general. But it was definitely leaning towards running.

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Amanda Bullat RD: and my mom found that after I had already moved back home after undergrad, and so I was already kind of in it. And my mom tried to to say like, Hey, like, here's what this professional dietitian is saying about fueling for for sport and all of that. But there was a part of me that wasn't hearing that. But, interestingly enough, if I think back on it.

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Amanda Bullat RD: and we talk about intuitive eating, and we often talk well, you do, too, with exercise. How does your body feel? Lead with how our body feels?

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Amanda Bullat RD: So it's kind of a a double edged sword when we do that, because I was more leading with, how does my body feel on the runs?

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Amanda Bullat RD: It sucks to not feel like you're strong finishing your run. Hate it! I liked being fast. I liked coming in in the top 3 overall women, so I was more fueled by that of like, okay, my body needs to feel a certain way

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Amanda Bullat RD: in order to kick ass all the way to the end of this race. And I've definitely had training runs. I definitely had some races where I was sucking it up at the end. And so I look at them, go. Okay. I gotta eat some more more carbs for my my pre race meal or something. II gotta do something a little bit different. So I would I would do that.

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Amanda Bullat RD: I wouldn't sacrifice that feeling a feeling well on my run. having said that it still wasn't enough.

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Amanda Bullat RD: so I was still writing a line. I didn't know it at the time, really, but III was still writing a pretty fine line, as evidenced by maintaining a rip, pretty low body weight.

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Christine Chessman: losing my period for 7 years.

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Amanda Bullat RD: And so there were other physiological indicators that I was under fueled. So which is why it was a little bit tricky. And why? I never got an official diagnosis.

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Amanda Bullat RD: Because, yeah, okay, I lost my period. But I didn't have some of the other diagnostic criteria to diagnose me as

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Amanda Bullat RD: having anorexia

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Amanda Bullat RD: or having exercise bulimia, as it might be considered

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Amanda Bullat RD: that. Earn and burn your food.

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Amanda Bullat RD: Because I was not in. I was not in an emaciated body. I was in an athletic fit body. I didn't look like I was sick down to my immediate family members. They knew something was up because I didn't look like I did when I was in high school. Once I had matured into my adult body I was smaller than that.

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Amanda Bullat RD: So

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Amanda Bullat RD: there were. So it was kind of a both, and I knew what I needed to be eating. I knew what it felt to be eating the right things.

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Amanda Bullat RD: I just wasn't eating enough of the right things

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Amanda Bullat RD: volume-wise in order to be maintaining enough energy to not only do those training runs.

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Amanda Bullat RD: but then maintain a period. Maintain adequate body fat to maintain a period.

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Amanda Bullat RD: Umhm. So if that answers question, yeah, no, it's it's just. It's fascinating to me. I'd love to talk to you now about

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Christine Chessman: how do you feel about running in general? Is there any part of you that would still like to run? Or is that something that you've had to step away from? Is it something that your body just doesn't.

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Christine Chessman: doesn't want to do, or is unable to do?

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Amanda Bullat RD: If I could put on a pair of running shoes tomorrow and go for the distance runs that I used to do with friends, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

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Amanda Bullat RD: and I think I would do it with a more informed mindset now, and a healthier mindset about movement and running.

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Amanda Bullat RD: Having said that, I do have to check myself that my mindset doesn't slip into.

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Amanda Bullat RD: You gotta do more. You gotta do more. You gotta do more. You gotta go longer. You gotta go harder, and that that is still there. It's not there in the lab the volume that it would be with running.

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Amanda Bullat RD: but it is there with cycling. It is there with our backpacking trips or long distance hikes in the summer. and I really have to check in with myself. Not in a

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Amanda Bullat RD: not in a really, we'll say severe way that I might have had to 20 years ago.

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Amanda Bullat RD: but I do kind of have to check in kind of like behind the scenes like dust the cobwebs off a little bit and go, okay, what's our motivation for doing this today? Oh, it's because we want to go see this like.

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Amanda Bullat RD: it's 13 miles back to this lake. So yeah, that's what we're doing today. Okay, cool. But it is okay to stop when we need to stop to take pictures when we wanna take pictures. We don't care how long it takes us, and we are bringing a boatload of snacks.

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so

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Amanda Bullat RD: II will catch myself

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Amanda Bullat RD: and just checking in. What's my motivation for doing this today? It's a crummy winter day, and I'm still going out on my bike. What's my motivation for doing this today.

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Christine Chessman: Interesting part about this. And I think this is one of the

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Amanda Bullat RD: little topic points that I may have sent you for our conversation to day, and that now in this mid life space and my relationship with movement. Now it's also become more of emotional regulation

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Amanda Bullat RD: and stress management.

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Amanda Bullat RD: and which is so important. And is this important, I think, for women in our mid life space? So I'm 44. So I'm on the youngest end. I guess we will say, but I'm creeping up there with all of you, and as we often learn in from perry menopause perspective, that mental health piece, they're kind of some of the first symptoms that can show up for for women. I don't really ever think my of myself as an anxious person, or

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Amanda Bullat RD: or anything like that. I know my, I would have probably identified my mom more as that. So I think I have a bit of a genetic tendency there.

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Amanda Bullat RD: But if I think back now, I'm kind of curious like how much of all of that running that I was doing was really running away from dealing with difficult emotions or difficult stages of life.

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Amanda Bullat RD: Now I can identify that more.

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Amanda Bullat RD: And I can say, Okay, how much of my desire to go out and ride, even though it's pouring buckets outside. And it's cold. How much of that is needing to maintain a certain body size needing to maintain a certain level of athleticism like, I would have thought about it. You know, 20 years ago how much of it is. I just need to blow off some steam.

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Amanda Bullat RD: Yeah. And if when I get out there.

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Amanda Bullat RD: it's really hopefully, I can swear on your podcast, but yeah, it's really shitty, weather. And I get out there. And my hands are freezing, my feet are freezing. I will turn back.

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Amanda Bullat RD: It's okay to turn back. So that's the other different place that I'm in now, where I give myself full permission to. If it is not

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Amanda Bullat RD: fun, or I'm not getting that relaxation that I need. Then just stop, go home, do something else have a hot shower. Do some Yoga

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Amanda Bullat RD: find another tool to help with the emotional regulation. So over the years. And again, this is part of the unravelling piece, too, is a lot of self reflection and thinking about, how is that relationship with movement?

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Amanda Bullat RD: Has it changed? How has it changed, and how is it. How have I grown as a person and as an active person.

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Amanda Bullat RD: as I'm entering into this mid life space because our bodies are not gonna recover the way that they used to. We're not gonna bounce off of. Oh, you just did this big hike, this big ride, this big run, and you didn't. You didn't need enough. Oh, you'll be fine. You make up for it. Our bodies are gonna suck it up for like a few days afterwards. If we don't pay attention to them now.

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So I'm really grateful that I did all of that unlearning unraveling on dieting

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Amanda Bullat RD: in those earlier years. so that I could arrive in this midlife space, having this more grounded relationship with exercise and my motivations for exercise and my motivations with food.

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Amanda Bullat RD: and that really profound practice of self compassion. Now, I say, practice with intention. There. It's a practice to practice self intention or self compassion and intention on a daily basis, right? Especially when our hormones are going all kinds of crazy directions, and life is going all kinds of crazy directions. But that's become part of this piece, too.

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Christine Chessman: I mean there's so much here. I find this so interesting because it there is a nuance. It's not black and white in terms of movement, and our relationship with movement.

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You know, cause sometimes I still want to really challenge myself in ways that feel enjoyable

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Christine Chessman: afterwards. And that's

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Christine Chessman: that don't feed to punishing. So it's finding that that balance between. Okay, am I? Why am I doing this? I'll ask yourself why. Ask yourself how you feel during before, after all of that, and it's

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Christine Chessman: I recently did a Marathon again, and it was for Alzheimer's. But I had to question why I was running a marathon after taking a big step back from running, and I did not enjoy it one bit. My body ache the whole way through. I hated it, and it really was interesting to me, cause I had loved the I thought I'd love the previous ones.

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Christine Chessman: but I'd love the feeling it gave me that I could eat what I wanted, and I was maintaining a certain weight. I think I loved that more, and certainly some endorphins. But I just

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Christine Chessman: I felt after this one. I didn't need to do that to myself. I was exhausted. I was tired, I

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my body was tired afterwards, and it really made me think about

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Christine Chessman: my own relationship to movement, and I just find it so interesting. What you said, because every day I check in with myself like you do, I'm like, why am I doing this workout?

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Christine Chessman: Am I doing it? You know. What are my reasons? Do they align with my values now, and and how I want to feel.

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am I? Am I punishment punishing myself, or am I being self compassionate? It's

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Christine Chessman: it. And I think for any listener out there. It's just it takes time, doesn't it, Amanda? It takes time

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to find that, and to to go into that on dieting space with movement

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Amanda Bullat RD: absolutely. And I think another caveat to this, too, and and you might add yourself into this category. It can take more time, and it's going to look different

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Amanda Bullat RD: when you've been a competitive athlete.

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Amanda Bullat RD: So there are times. And, in fact, this this situation recently came up, which is why I made the post that I did in our midlife feast community around.

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Amanda Bullat RD: Your definition of enough exercise

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Amanda Bullat RD: is going to be different from someone else's version of an ex of enough exercise. And

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Amanda Bullat RD: if you have been someone who has been active your whole adult life

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Amanda Bullat RD: for you, maybe taking a step back or taking like taking care of your body, maybe a little bit, going a little bit slower.

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Amanda Bullat RD: It's still probably gonna be way. More exercise than some of our peers are who have not been athletes.

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Amanda Bullat RD: And I've definitely I've had other conversations with this with some of my mountain gals that I do stuff with here. In northeastern Oregon

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Amanda Bullat RD: around.

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Amanda Bullat RD: you know the transition from well, we used to really do this and this and this like, knock out all these miles high elevation. All of this. Now we do this, and there is a bit of that transition like, and and grief. Oh, my body doesn't do that anymore. My body doesn't do it that way anymore. But then, if I go and I talk with another friend who's sure that maybe we'll say casually active.

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Amanda Bullat RD: and they enjoy moving their bodies. But it is enough for them to go for a 20 min walk a half an hour walk.

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Amanda Bullat RD: I'm learning like, it's okay for me to say some days. That's enough. Some days it's not enough. And it's okay for me to still wanna push myself.

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Amanda Bullat RD: And I recently got into a new relationship.

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Amanda Bullat RD: And to this guy's credit he checked me one day. He's like.

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Amanda Bullat RD: Alright. Why, why are we going up this hill this hard like? He's like I've been around athletes my whole adult life. I can smell you all a mile away, and he's like, but II just wanna check in with you because for him that right now, in the winter season, like this is a down season. He doesn't want to go as long er as hard, because he wants to be rested and recovered going into the spring season.

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Amanda Bullat RD: And I it gave me pause. And to think which is the point of that post that I made in the community and going, okay, am I doing too much? I don't know. Is it coming across as I'm doing too much? I don't feel like it's too much in my body. I'm not sore. I'm sleeping fine, you know, like not sleeping well can be one of those hallmarks over training. I'm I'm not necessarily counting my miles that I'm doing or I I'm I like to ride most days if there's not snow on the ground. But

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Amanda Bullat RD: again, some of that's emotional regulation. It feels good to move my body. It doesn't get stiff, but it was. I was grateful for him for bringing that up, because he doesn't know me that well, he doesn't know me from my disordered days. But he's just being really cautious going

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Amanda Bullat RD: alright. Why are we pushing so hard right now? And for me, I'm like, I'm I'm not I'm not might be riding during the week. But we're not going on these 3 day backpacks on the weekend, like. In a way, my activity level this this time of year has been cut, not quite in half, probably, but pretty close, so I am doing less. I am resting in a way I am doing more, Yoga.

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but it might still look to someone else like Whoa, why are you doing

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Amanda Bullat RD: these bike rides every single day? So again, like, it's really important, I think, as people go through the the self compassion, practice, the unraveling of their relationship with movement and doing those check-ins. It's also okay. If you have moved your body at a certain level. It's okay to still say.

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Amanda Bullat RD: I enjoy pushing my body. Sometimes I enjoy going for longer, bigger things. It's not required. It's not required for self worth. You can take a break anytime you want to. But when people start questioning, are you doing too much, it's okay. If you feel in your body that you're you're still fine.

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Amanda Bullat RD: then keep doing what you love to do. If that's what brings you, joy is to push yourself on a few days here or there, or however many days here or there, cool, but check in with yourself.

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Amanda Bullat RD: Do never, never, never get away from the reflection, the self reflection that is key. I have found to maintaining that healthy, balanced relationship with movement. You got to check that motivation, and if your motivation is. No, I want to feel like a badass climbing this hill really fast on a bike, or a walk, or a run, or whatever

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Amanda Bullat RD: cool. That's your motivation. Then that's great. You still get to eat whatever you want to eat, you still get to

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Amanda Bullat RD: Be in whatever ever size body your body shows up at in mid life. That's not like disassociate that separate those things. We're not here to earn and burn food.

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Amanda Bullat RD: So I think that's the other important piece, too. You can go hard and enjoy going hard as long as it's not tied to. I have to go hard because I ate XY and Z. Or I have to go hard because I'm gaining weight in midlife. No, don't do that. That's where we have some work to do.

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Amanda Bullat RD: if if absolutely obvious.

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Christine Chessman: And well, there's so much that resonated for me there. There was one moment that I wanted to to share that, and that was so sweet this weekend. I went to see my mom, so I had to fly.

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Christine Chessman: and always so previously meant. You know, I've gone to see her often, so I do every 2 months or so

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Amanda Bullat RD: I usually walk up the stairs. So if you've got an elevator on stairs, or what is an not an elevator, an escalator

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Christine Chessman: escalator. Yeah, just don't know and so you have an escalator on a set stairs. I would always find the stairs with my suitcase or with my rucksack, and I would try and do 2 a time. Obviously, cause II need to earn my lunch, or I need to, you know, earn the coffee that I'm having.

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Christine Chessman: and this time, every single time I saw an escalator I took the escalator every single time, and I didn't even walk up the escalator. I just stayed on the escalator cause I was feeling a bit tired, and I just wanted to be kind to myself.

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Christine Chessman: It just felt so sweet, Amanda. It just felt like.

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Christine Chessman: you know, I feel like I've I've now got to the point where I can say that I do have a healthy relationship with movement. And it has taken. And that's what I wanna bring forth through the podcast it's taken me a long time. And I'm still, I still have to check myself, like you're saying on a regular basis. But it is. There is a sweet spot where you feel that sense of freedom

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Christine Chessman: that is worth working for and working towards. Isn't there

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Amanda Bullat RD: 100%? Yeah. And there's so much more joy that comes back into

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Amanda Bullat RD: the movement when you're not tracking like, okay, how fast did I do this? How many miles did I do? How much elevation gain did I do like? Sometimes it's fun. Now, sometimes. Now it's okay for me to know those numbers.

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Amanda Bullat RD: 10 years ago it wouldn't have been okay for me. Know those numbers 20 years ago. No way. Or I was knowing those numbers from, but from a disordered stance. Now I don't really care at more checked into how does it feel in in in your body and like you said to pay attention like when you're feeling tired like if I've done a bunch of rides during the week. And then we did a backpack during the weekend in the summer time. Yeah, I might need to take a few days and just do some yoga and some stretching, and

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Amanda Bullat RD: get all my parts working and lubricated again. And and that's okay. And the other piece of that, too, which you said this beautifully to bring it back to your example. You still get your coffee.

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Amanda Bullat RD: You get to ride the escalator to the top and go get your coffee. You don't like have to like, not eat what you what you want to eat because you didn't take the stairs. You don't have to not eat what you want to eat, because you're having a rest day like it doesn't work that way

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Amanda Bullat RD: again. That checking in with that earn and burn mentality which can can still sneak you up to us. I think, too, like to your point with the Marathon running that Marathon. And you're like, well, I like this part of running the Marathon that I knew I could eat whatever I wanted, and I'd be training it off like, Oh, that's earn and burn mentality. So we have to check ourselves on that still, too. So it's always a work in progress. It's a practice

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Christine Chessman: I've got. I've got a bit of a tricky question for you. Now. I'd love to talk about motivation. I'm sorry. I always like to keep these about 30 min, but I could just talk to you all day, and motivation is something that I always say is.

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Christine Chessman: I say bullshit, and because I don't think

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Christine Chessman: it means anything. If you wake up on a Monday morning and don't feel like doing your bike ride or going for a run, or doing your workout that you were going to or doing your yoga.

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Christine Chessman: I think that's okay to think, oh, can't be bothered

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Christine Chessman: if you then check in with yourself, and go actually at quite like how I feel afterwards, and I feel rested, and a theme well nourished, and

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Christine Chessman: you know what is my, why, I want to build strength, and a, you know, increase bone density and and help. My, so it's

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Christine Chessman: it. It doesn't always mean. Sometimes it means okay, I need to rest and relax. But sometimes it's okay to go. I don't feel motivated. But I'm gonna do the workout, because I know I'm gonna feel amazing afterwards.

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Christine Chessman: And I think it's so hard that line because we wanna listen to our bodies that sometimes our brain goes. I can't be asked, can't be asked, and it's

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you don't want to punish yourself. You don't want to feel like it's punishing.

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Christine Chessman: but it's that's why am I doing this workout? Do you see where I'm going with this Amanda?

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Amanda Bullat RD: And I think it gets this gets even stickier for us women in midlife

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Amanda Bullat RD: because we do have concerns that are popping up in our health journey around bone health, metabolic health, blood, sugar, blood pressure potentially cancer. I got a boatload of cancer in my family.

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Amanda Bullat RD: and we are told, and I don't think incorrectly, but we are told that many of our

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Amanda Bullat RD: Western chronic diseases this day and age

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Amanda Bullat RD: our lifestyle diseases to an extent. I'm always gonna say, there's still genetics that's gonna play a piece in there. And this is all independent of weight. So let's just clear that up right now. But I think many of our clients, and maybe ourselves included

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Amanda Bullat RD: as we enter into our 40 S. And 50 s. We are becoming more aware of, hey? Maybe I do need to do some more physical activity

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Amanda Bullat RD: to support my overall well-being. As I transition into this new season of life. So

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Amanda Bullat RD: at the same time we are tired because our hormones are all over the place. We're not sleeping very well. We're bleeding like crazy we might have low iron stores, you know, so we've got a hormone soup, as our friend Jen would say, going on behind the scenes that is making us tired.

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So it is a bit of a tricky dance between. What is my motivation? Well, motivation like, okay. If I'm tired. Well, Christine and Amanda are saying, I've got full permission to rest if I'm tired.

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Amanda Bullat RD: but I really want to try to to move my cholesterol down.

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Amanda Bullat RD: I really wanna support my blood sugar. Maybe I don't have to take as much medication, or maybe the person's not on medication yet, and they don't wanna get on medication. This is true for many of my clients. All again independent of wait. We're not gonna go there with this conversation.

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Amanda Bullat RD: but although many of our clients will. So let's just clear that up. And that's okay that we understand where that comes from.

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Amanda Bullat RD: But so I think, for you're right to your point. It's also okay to have that moment of reflection for yourself and say, my motivation today is coming from how my future self wants to feel.

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Amanda Bullat RD: And I'm just gonna start gonna start the workout. I know that I can stop the workout if I continue to suck it up while I'm there. I can turn around from my walk. I can turn around from my bike ride. I don't have to finish anything.

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Amanda Bullat RD: But I'm just gonna start

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Amanda Bullat RD: because I know my future self, whether that's your future self in 2 h or your future self in 6 months, when your lab values change.

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Amanda Bullat RD: your future self is gonna feel feel better and feel. Is the optimum word right there. We want

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Amanda Bullat RD: to feel better in our bodies because oftentimes maybe you've found this with your work, too.

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Amanda Bullat RD: When a woman feels better in her body she often starts to feel better about her body. A 1 million. Yes, yes, but we're always leading with that motivation of how do I want to feel? Might not feel great right now. But I'm gonna give my permission and myself permission

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Amanda Bullat RD: to start and to stop if I need to. But I'm also gonna give myself permission if I start doing the movement doing the exercise routine, and I kinda like shake off those cobwebs, and it feels amazing. You also have permission to go a little harder if you want to. Not required. But you can. So I think that that's where this motivation piece. I hate the idea of motivation Mondays. I hate hate. That's so. Diet, cultery, crap, like you said to your point, bullshit.

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Amanda Bullat RD: But in men life because you and I have both worked with enough women. They're like.

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Amanda Bullat RD: yeah. But, guys, II am concerned about my my blood sugar. I am concerned about my cholesterol I am concerned about. I have cancer in my family, or I'm just stressed out. And I need some way to blow off steam.

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Amanda Bullat RD: Okay, then how do you want your future self to feel? And and let's let's move towards that. But again, you can stop whenever you want to. You can switch gears whenever you want to.

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Amanda Bullat RD: That's the other piece. That's the self Compassion piece that comes into the motivation. Yeah.

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Christine Chessman: I love that answer. And II often say to to clients that come to my boot camps, I might. You can half asset in my class. You can come along and half asset you don't have to. You don't have to give it your all on those days where you don't feel really like. Give a lot of energy. You can't be bothered. Come along, see what happens. Take it easy, and, as you say, you might half way through go. Oh, I think quite good.

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Christine Chessman: and you know. Let's let's give it some, but it's it's exactly that it's not required, and that's the difference, maker, isn't it?

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Amanda Bullat RD: And the minute we make it not required. The minute we give ourselves permission to half asset. Lower the bar.

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Amanda Bullat RD: we will consistently show up for ourselves.

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Amanda Bullat RD: and that's often I find the hardest mindset shift to help women find because they get the message in diet culture of like, oh, you're letting yourself go!

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Amanda Bullat RD: No, you're letting yourself be for one, and when you let yourself be, then you can check in with yourself and go. How am I feeling today?

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Amanda Bullat RD: Let's just start there.

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Amanda Bullat RD: and if I'm half-assing it, and then I want to pick it up cool. If I'm half asin it all the way through, and I want to stop short. Fine.

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Amanda Bullat RD: You gotta give your self permission to to do any Version of it. Stay in your body, stay in the present moment.

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Amanda Bullat RD: and go with what you're what you're feeling motivated or called to do right then.

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Amanda Bullat RD: And that's going to be a reflection of how you want to feel later.

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Christine Chessman: amazing Amanda, with that, I'm going to bring the podcast to an end, because that's a beautiful note to end it on. But before we go, I would like to ask. how people can work with you. Where do you hang out? Why can we find you? How can we work with you?

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Amanda Bullat RD: Yeah, that's great. Thank you. And the easiest way to find my work is go to my website, which is alpinenutrition.org. and there are weekly blogs. There, you can access my podcast to savor food and body podcast through my website as well

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Amanda Bullat RD: and saver food and body podcast is on all major pla, podcast platforms. There is also a Youtube channel that is listed under Amanda bullet, Rd. And also saver food and body. And so you can see short little snippets there. You can also see the videos of the conversations I've had with guests on the podcast so if you wanna. Put faces to names, that's where you can find that.

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Amanda Bullat RD: And II do my very best to show up on Instagram most most days. That is where you will see pictures of bike rides, amazing hikes, the amazing women in midlife that I spend my weekends with that are just doing their very best with whatever they feel motivated to do that day. Also some fun food stuff in the kitchen, of course, cooking so, and Instagram. I'm also at Alpine nutrition.

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Amanda Bullat RD: and then, of course, people can find both of us in the Mid Life Feast Community with Dr. Jen Salup Huber, which is just turning out to be an amazing community of supportive women. And we're having great conversations about movement there. We're having great conversations about intuitive eating and menopause and perimenopause, like all the things.

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Amanda Bullat RD: So you can find me inside that community, too, as well as yourself.

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Christine Chessman: Fantastic. I'm going to put all of that information in the show notes. But for now, Amanda, thank you so much for joining me.

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Amanda Bullat RD: It's my pleasure, Christine. Thanks for having me.