How to Feel Comfortable in Your Body if You Have Gained Weight.

This episode is our first one as a duo and I'm SO excited to have Ela on board.

Ela (@elalawnutrition) has been on the podcast several times and she and I have worked together on numerous projects in the past.

As a non-diet nutritionist, and fellow IE counsellor,  she brings a unique perspective to the podcast and one that is very much needed.
Together we want to help our listeners feel heard.  To know they're not alone and to help them figure out how the f*ck they can eat and move in a way that serves them, as we navigate these menopause years together.

So in this episode, we get straight into the topic of weight gain and coping strategies when we feel uncomfortable in our own skin.

How do you feel when the sun shines and the summer wardrobe beckons?

Do you always feel that it's time to 'drop a few pounds' before you'll let your body be seen?

Do you feel panicked or uneasy when last summer's clothes feel a little snug? 
What does that say about you?  What is the story you tell yourself?

Would you feel the same if your clothes were a little loose?

We are so excited to bring you this episode and would love your feedback.

In this episode we refer to Body Image Coach & Educator Bri Campos, whose work with body grief has been transformative for us as non diet professionals.

  Click here if you'd like to connect with Bri, or find out more.

Are you simply fed up with hating your body? Are you stuck in the 'earn and burn' cycle when it comes to exercise?
You are not alone and your body is NOT the problem

Please reach out if you would like some support. We both have limited slots for Intuitive Eating and Strength Coaching, so get in touch with Christine or with Ela.

AND if you enjoyed this episode, please share and follow the 'Find Your Strong podcast' and if you have time, write us a short review. It would honestly mean the world. Love to you all, Ela & Christine x

Transcript

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Christine Chessman: Welcome to another episode of the find your strong Podcast. My! This week I am introducing my Co. Host, Ella. Law. Ella, introduce yourself.

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Ela Law: Everybody.

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Christine Chessman: You are, and why you're here.

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Ela Law: Why am I here? Because you asked me to join you, and I'm so excited about it. I'm really. I'm really so excited to to be here because every time we've been talking in the past. And I've been on your fabulous podcast before we always get into such interesting conversations together. And I'm so excited that I can be a part of this. So thank you very much.

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Christine Chessman: Oh, you're more than welcome. So the reason that I, for everybody listening. The reason I invited Ella along was that we're both intuitive eating counselors, but we're coming at it from quite a different angle. So I'm coming at it from the movement side, and Ella's coming at it from the nutrition side, so we thought it might be a nice little combo.

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Christine Chessman: and so, and I'm also very excited to just not to have to do it by myself, so it's nice to have a little bit of company. So thank you, Ella.

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Ela Law: Absolute pleasure, glad to be here.

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Christine Chessman: Well, today we had a brief discussion about what we were gonna discuss. In real time. It is April someday the fifteenth, sixteenth, or what.

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Ela Law: Already.

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Christine Chessman: Sometime in April. And it is not warm yet. But there's a lot of talk about summer bodies everywhere. So if you're on Instagram you will have seen. Get summer body ready all over the place. Now there are a few posts which kind of go against that rhetoric and say, anybody is a beach body and

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Christine Chessman: lots more like that. But I just wanted to spend this episode discussing how we can be comfortable in our own skin

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Christine Chessman: at this time of transition from our kind of spring to summer, when everybody's going to be showing a lot more flesh, we may not feel comfortable in our own skin, we may have gained weight or summer clothes may not fit us. We may not feel comfortable.

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Christine Chessman: Ella. What?

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Christine Chessman: Where do we start with this? Because this is a conversation which number of my clients we've we've been having probably for about a month now.

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Ela Law: Right? Yeah, I think I mean, where to start. That's a really good question. I I I think the first thing to do really is to validate how

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Ela Law: how difficult it can be in our society to to go into that season where we do exactly what you said show more flesh, and we're skimpier clothes. And we're we're more out as well. We're more outside. We are more

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Ela Law: in in public, you know, with other people generally in the summer just by default, because we're we're outside of a lot more. We meet up with people a lot more. So we're more visible in that sense as well. So the first thing I would do is to validate how shit it can be if you are

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Ela Law: conscious about your your body. If you're worried about your weight. If you know if if you have body issues generally to to be in in that season.

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Ela Law: so you know it, it is real, and it is something that a lot of people struggle with. And you know, validating that, I think, is really really important, because it is hard in our society to

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Ela Law: to do that.

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Ela Law: And then

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Ela Law: I think it's always

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Ela Law: worth exploring. Sort of what what is going on for an individual person when they say like, Oh, I just

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Ela Law: you know I I don't want to show my body. You know you can. You can go into some. You can go in really deep there and and work out. You know. Why is it that you have

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Ela Law: such anxiety around that?

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Ela Law: yeah, it's it's a really tricky one, because it's such a complex one, isn't it? It's not just about oh, let's wait for the summer, and then we're good it's the whole concept of

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Ela Law: a summer body full stop. That is just so wrong, because, you know, bodies are full seasons that they're just our bodies. They're the vessels that we live in so sort of coining it. A a summer body and a winter body feeds right into the diet. Mentality narrative, doesn't it?

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Christine Chessman: A 100%. And you know, on that note, looking at pictures on Instagram, one thing where, if you do see somebody in a larger body who is sitting on the beach in a bikini. You often get comments, and this is something which upsets me a little bit, but you often get comments. Oh, you're so brave.

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Ela Law: Oh, yeah.

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Christine Chessman: Well done for putting on a bikini that is, with stigma.

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Christine Chessman: In disguise, you know. It's kind of non malicious. Certainly. I'm sure people are not meeting.

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Ela Law: Meaning, to.

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Christine Chessman: Malicious, but I think it's really important to draw attention to the fact that

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Christine Chessman: there is no reason a person shouldn't be in a Bikini. Why, and there is no one body ideal where that's a made up concept.

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Christine Chessman: That we can dig deeper into in the coming weeks. But it is certainly something that you see across Instagram that you know. Be brave. Show off your cell. You're like, it's okay. You know, nobody's perfect. And it's

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Christine Chessman: it's it's almost.

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Christine Chessman: you know, given could also just start reinforcing the fact that there is one perfect summer body. But it's okay. If you don't have that, you can still go to the beach and be brave, and you know.

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Ela Law: Great.

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Christine Chessman: Yeah. And that's

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Christine Chessman: yeah. And that's I, I that is understandable.

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Christine Chessman: Why, people are are saying that. That's coming from a place of love, probably, but it feeds the beast, doesn't it?

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Ela Law: It totally does feed the beast. It's so interesting. You should say that because it comes up all the time this is this is kind of you're brave for

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Ela Law: just being out and about wearing something, you know. That is, I mean, if you think about it logically, it's just so ridiculous. But it's also so hurtful because, as you said, it feeds that same kind of narrative that you know

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Ela Law: you are. You are not looking the way that

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Ela Law: summer bodies need to look, apparently, and therefore you're brave because you are sort of doing it, anyway. I mean.

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Christine Chessman: Thank you.

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Ela Law: It's just. It's so difficult to

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Ela Law: peddled back from that, though, isn't it? Because it's just so.

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Ela Law: It's everywhere that that

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Ela Law: that narrative and that kind of

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Ela Law: theme. It's it's just so pervasive. And so.

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Ela Law: you know, everywhere you go you will hear it. And going up against it is is really hard. It's really challenging.

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Christine Chessman: And I, you know, I think that's where community is really

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Christine Chessman: important just to have other people. So you know, joint, there's lots of great communities around that you can join, and just sort of or and detoxing your social media feed is also quite important.

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Ela Law: Totally.

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Christine Chessman: And following people that kind of who don't make you feel like crap.

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Christine Chessman: And maybe people who have the same body size as you or a similar body size to you. There's lots of things that you can do, I think to.

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Christine Chessman: I don't know to minimize that.

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Christine Chessman: but it's still everywhere. It's still everywhere. And I just wanted to ask you for people who

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Christine Chessman: have perhaps started thinking about intuitive eating

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Christine Chessman: and sort of food, freedom, and listening to their bodies rather, and ditching the diet, if they have put on with.

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Christine Chessman: Hi the transition to the summer close, where the close may not fit them.

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Christine Chessman: It's I'm thinking of my body acceptance and accepting our bodies as they change. If they change, is a really difficult thing.

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Christine Chessman: and I don't think there's an easy, so there's no easy fix to that.

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Christine Chessman: you know. I think Bree Campus, who we both know body image with Bree. I'll put her details in, and she talks about sitting in the suck and just grieving the body that you want or thought you should have, or you know and I think there's a and that's not sexy. And that's not. But you know there is an element of just sitting with it rather than trying to paper over the cracks.

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Christine Chessman: Do you agree?

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Ela Law: Yeah, a hundred percent. I,

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Ela Law: because we can't. We can't in inverted commas fix it. We, this, this nothing to fix really, and this you and you and I. We know that diets just don't work, and you know, even if you have initial weight loss that will very likely come back on over time. And so given that there is no real

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Ela Law: in yeah, again, an inverted commerce solution to to it, and that there's no long-term weight loss program that works

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Ela Law: reliably. We don't. We don't have that option. So even if we wanted to lose weight for the summer, it's just not accessible. It's just not there. So have to.

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Ela Law: We have to come to a place where we can accept our here and now, body, and there's lots of different things that

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Ela Law: that you can practice on that you can do

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Ela Law: self compassion exercises. You can do grounding. You can do body scans. You could just learn to be in your body a bit more, because very often the the problem that we have and the kind of anxiety that we have come from come from our our head because we live in our head. So we have these thoughts, spirals, and they they, you know, we go down a rabbit hole of

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Ela Law: self loathing, because we sort of just in our heads, and it spirals and spirals and spirals. But if we manage to move into our bodies, and we feel where that anxiety sits and where it comes out and where it presents, and sometimes that can be really helpful tool to do exactly what you said to sit in the suck, to really let that feeling play out

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Ela Law: physically in your body. And what what happens then? If that is something that you practice regularly, it becomes it's almost like flexing a muscle and strengthening a muscle. It will become easier. What I'm not saying is that you will never have any worries about your body, and never have any bad body image days. But what will happen is that you will be able to deal with those days or those instances and those triggering moments a lot better because you

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Ela Law: you will have built up some resilience. You will have built up that muscle that can kind of fight back a little bit. So that that's one thing that I often do when it comes to body image issues with my clients that we kind of work on. Can you accept your here and now, body, and maybe you can accept it just for today? Let's just start small. Let's just see today.

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Ela Law: Can I think about a good thing that my body enabled me to do? Is that something that my body allowed me to do today that brought me joy.

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Ela Law: really take small steps. But, as I said, it's like building muscle mass. It's just like getting stronger. It's a practice that you can. You can work on.

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Christine Chessman: But I I totally. I totally agree that it is like a muscle that you can train and I think that's that's a massive

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Christine Chessman: area of hope for people. So that's because you, you know, our brains are plastic. Neuroplasticity is a thing, and it's thank God for it, because it means that these pathways can be changed, but

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Christine Chessman: they have been in place for a long time.

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Christine Chessman: So it's not. That's not gonna happen overnight. But every little step you make

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Christine Chessman: in that direction is gonna help. And every time you kind of resist starting another diet, or resist shaming your body, or, you know, go by anyway, even though you feel like hiding under the covers. You know it's every time you do something that's almost like 2 fingers up to diet culture. It's a win.

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Christine Chessman: and it's an

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Christine Chessman: And I totally agree. The self compassion exercises anything that you can do

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Christine Chessman: in that moment to try and accept today.

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Christine Chessman: How you are today, rather than thinking about how you want to be in the future or how you were in the past. I think that's I think we spend our lives

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Christine Chessman: looking there. I'm here. I'm never really here.

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Ela Law: Hmm

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Ela Law: so to.

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Ela Law: Me!

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Christine Chessman: So I quite like that, you know, today, can you accept your body today?

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Ela Law: Yeah.

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Ela Law: how do you work with your clients then? Because you will have clients that will come up against this.

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Ela Law: what do you do with.

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Christine Chessman: Yeah, that's okay.

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Ela Law: To body image worrying in particular. With regard to you know, the the so-called summer body.

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Christine Chessman: So weird. I have a client at the moment, and

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Christine Chessman: Who's fantastic? And again with

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Christine Chessman: where we're thinking about the close, the wardrobe the close in the wardrobe that no longer fit. Well.

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Christine Chessman: and just how you know the self Compassion piece. It's about showing this body some kindness because you're trying to rebuild that trust with your body. As you say, we've been living in our heads. We've been suppressing every

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Christine Chessman: queue that our body is giving us. It's like I'm hungry. No, push it down. Have a coffee, don't don't listen to your hunger. So we've been pushing down all the signals our body is trying to give us. So it's just trying to build up trust again and show kindness to the body. And for me buying close that fit your body not comfortably.

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Christine Chessman: It's a real act of body kindness and

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Christine Chessman: compassion and self care, and and that's kind of what we started with. It was just trying to, because we were talking about high certain clothes pinch. And you know, if you're wearing clothes that are bit tight and they pinch, they're just gonna be sitting there the whole time reminding you how I'm comfortable. You fame.

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Christine Chessman: You know, and it's

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Christine Chessman: I can sit very comfortably if I'm wearing clothes that fit me. I feel so much more confident if I put something on that's too small. Immediately I start going. Oh, maybe I shouldn't eat. I shouldn't have eaten that, or I it just it's a natural response.

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Christine Chessman: So, and we've been just working on her going and buying some clothes that fit her and are not

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Christine Chessman: too tight, so have a bit of room in them, but she seems good in.

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Christine Chessman: So that's been a real step forward

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Christine Chessman: for her cause. She's saying that. Oh, I I I can't buy nice clothes that fit me. Now, you know.

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Ela Law: Yeah.

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Ela Law: that's yeah. I I I would 100 agree with that. How important that is, and and just sort of as a side note, you know, for those that

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Ela Law: that might not be financially accessible for. But there are ways of getting close

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Ela Law: cheaply, you know this second hand vintage, you know, ebay, whatever there, there are ways of doing that. It's a case of becoming a bit creative, but absolutely that having something that fits you well, a makes you feel good because it it's just something that that you, you know you might like and looks good on you, or you know that you like the color and and totally the reminder that

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Ela Law: if something's too small that this you know, it's it's pinching the reminder of your body all the time, makes you so focused on your body that it that it stops you from being present because you're focusing on your body. You're not focusing on what you're actually doing.

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Christine Chessman: What you're doing.

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Christine Chessman: Yeah, I like that idea. Yeah. And I, you know what you said about moving or connecting to your body. You know. I think I definitely lived in my head for many years. I don't know about you, but it's the idea of I sort of

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Christine Chessman: and mentioned to clients to suggest

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Christine Chessman: and get into your body and move, and whether that is, if you're having a moment where you're really I just you know you're you're just kind of you get that panic, that sense of panic, or that that feeling is coming up really strongly, and you don't know what to do with it? It move a bit. So whether it's 5 min of gentle mobility. Yoga! Anything jumping up and dine, go on outside for a walk.

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Christine Chessman: anything. Punching a Hello! Get into the body and use it, get into the body and move it, cause then it's it's helping that connection to the body

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Christine Chessman: and feeling, and and so just checking in and seeing how you feel in your body rather than looking from the outside in just, you know. Just don't look at any mirrors, just get on a map and do some move.

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Christine Chessman: And that works really well for me. And I know a number of my clients use that technique as well, but it's fine. And what works for you, isn't it?

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Ela Law: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. It's interesting. Because I I was just thinking, as you were talking, that we sort of

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Ela Law: in in terms of what what you can do. If if this is whoever's listening, if this is you, and you find the idea of going into summer quite a challenge.

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Ela Law: we're we're we're going at it from different aspects that we've we've done the sort of being in your body and the physiological, the sort of feeling kind of part, and then the emotional part of sitting in the suck and just let the emotion be there and then a practical part was, you know, can you buy some clothes. Can you find some clothes that fit you nicely? And I just wanted to add in now the sort of cognitive part where you

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Ela Law: you can maybe start reframing some of the thoughts that pop up when when you want to go out to the beach. And you say, Oh, I can't possibly be seen in a bikini or in a bathing suit at the at the beach. To kind of really challenge those thoughts when they come up

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Ela Law: and also kind of

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Ela Law: think about.

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Ela Law: If if there is someone who's judging you for your body.

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Ela Law: that's not your problem is that problem, and sometimes just sort of reminding yourself of that. Because then the problem that those people have is weight bias. Basically, they are discriminating. And they might have their own issues. They might have internal wait by bias themselves. So

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Ela Law: even even if someone is judging, and I would say, 90% of people are not because they are so focused on themselves and.

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Christine Chessman: I'll never.

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Ela Law: Right. There is someone judging you for the way you look. It's their problem, and it's not yours. And sometimes just sort of reframing that a little bit, and thinking about it in those terms can be quite helpful and also empowering, because it's then not about you. It's about them, and you know they can deal with their own shit. You know you. You go and have a nice time at the beach, but

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Ela Law: it it's easier said than done again. This is also something that you need to practice the kind of cognitive side of things, and reframing and trying to shut down the the negative voices.

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Christine Chessman: And I think that's a great reframe, and I also think

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Christine Chessman: anything you know I love. The idea of your body isn't supposed to look like hers. I love that idea because my body isn't supposed to look like that body, and it's not supposed to look like my body. 20 years ago or 10 years in the future. It's literally it's supposed to. It's exactly where it's supposed to be today

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Christine Chessman: on it's

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Christine Chessman: you know, it's I think, Lucy b yoga. If you check her out on Install.

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Ela Law: Rough. Yeah.

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Christine Chessman: Brilliant, he said. You cannot be present with a body you're actively trying to change.

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Christine Chessman: You can. I love that that resonates hard because it's to be present to actually. And that's all we have is now. And I know that sounds very meditation, very airy, free, but it is. It is really very true. I think the older you get, the more you realize that.

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Christine Chessman: so rather than wishing this body with something else, you know, just thinking that. Actually, let's see if let's be present. My, what can I do to make this body more comfortable right now? Can I move on my chair? Can I put my feet up? Can I relax my shoulders a bit? Can I? What can I do for this body that I'm in right now to make it feel a bit better? I like, I really like that. So just I'll put cushion under your bomb, put your feet up, just make yourself a cup of tea. Just

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Christine Chessman: do something really lovely for the body. Now you don't have to love it. You don't have to love it.

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Ela Law: No.

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Christine Chessman: But just do something loving for it.

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Ela Law: Yeah, I love that. That's great. That's really good advice

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Ela Law: on that note. I was also thinking.

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Ela Law: you know, when you think about what can you do for your body right now? That makes it more comfortable to just go back to clothing? And also to go back to community. So if you are in a larger body and you find it difficult. In the summer, because, you know, you might experience chafing and things like that. These communities are just so helpful to ask for. Well, what do you use what helps you in the summer? If you want to wear a dress.

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Ela Law: and you don't want to have chafing. What do you use? You know? Have you found a nice bra that works under a a address? Have you found any nice summer clothes in whatever size. So communities are really, really helpful there when you find yourself just a little bit alone. And the High Street is not basically catering for you. Having a group that you can kind of

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Ela Law: get in touch with and share experiences and share suggestions and have some support can be really really helpful for sort of practical solutions as well. I think.

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Christine Chessman: 100%, you know. And I think we could pop some of those brands into the show notes. You know, there's one that's mind which is snag. I love snag.

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Ela Law: Slag is a.

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Christine Chessman: And

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Christine Chessman: and they do. They do. Chub. Rub shorts, which you know I'm not in a larger body, but I have strong thighs, and they rub together, and if it's hot it's not comfortable. I've always used snide, Chubb, and I think they're brilliant. I have a number of friends and lots of bodies who swear by them. So it's there's a number of brands. And please let us know anymore that we're leaving out.

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Christine Chessman: But just little things like that can make a big difference.

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Ela Law: Absolutely.

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Ela Law: I'm gonna get myself a pair this year because I had some extreme chafing last summer and it was very uncomfortable. So having having a slag pair. There is gonna be a lifestyle.

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Christine Chessman: But they're they're branching out. They've got some crazy ones. You have to look at the website like.

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Ela Law: That's the brilliant.

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Christine Chessman: Standard ones, and all kinds of things.

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Ela Law: I'm.

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Christine Chessman: Like.

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Christine Chessman: but another thing that I was sort of thinking about was, you know.

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Christine Chessman: how how would you deal with it? So how do you find the transition to summer? Does anything from a personal point of view? Does anything not trigger you? Are you at a point where you just excited at summer. You're happy if the sun shines. Do you ever think about? Oh, I don't wanna

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Christine Chessman: show my legs or.

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Christine Chessman: You know, wear a swimsuit? Do you ever does it ever cross your mind.

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Ela Law: It does. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I mean, I give fewer shits about it nowadays than I used to. I used to be very sort of

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Ela Law: focused on, you know. Can I wear that? Should I wear that kind of thing nowadays? I'm I'm more about. Is this, is this, gonna be comfortable in the heat, or is this gonna be suitable? The beach? I kind of dress for comfort, more than full style, and for you know what what would potentially be expected of me to wear. I do struggle, I have to say, and just be open about. I do struggle with bikinis.

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Ela Law: I am.

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Ela Law: That's my own little

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Ela Law: issue. I have. Yeah. Since I've had children I have not been in love with my belly, so I tend to wear swimming costume. So that's a challenge that I'd like to, you know, to.

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Christine Chessman: Like, send.

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Ela Law: Work on at some stage. But yeah.

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Ela Law: that's that's something that I find quite triggering. Personally, other than that, I think for the summer. I'm not a massive fan of the summer full stop, because I don't like the heat.

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Ela Law: So therefore for me, it's all about comfort. It's all about, you know, wearing stuff that is loose, and that lets me just breathe a little bit.

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Christine Chessman: Brave.

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Ela Law: Yeah.

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Christine Chessman: So this is maybe why we get on so well. I do not like the summer, and that sounds so weird, doesn't it? I am. I can't stand the heat. I cannot stand it, and I also can't stand the fact that everybody expects you to be. I all the time.

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Ela Law: I'm so.

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Christine Chessman: Why, I'm like 11 at night, and I'm so tired I just don't.

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Ela Law: Can we go to bed, please? Oh, I'm so.

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Christine Chessman: And.

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Ela Law: You. I'm so with you.

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Christine Chessman: It's such a maybe it's an interesting thing, Ella, but it is that idea. I love Winter because you can cozy up.

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Christine Chessman: And go outside and get hot drinking, or a glass of wine, and sit and watch the TV and.

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Ela Law: Yeah, and you don't have to make your excuses. Why are you not out in the.

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Christine Chessman: It's it's that. And you know where we are. In Brighton. It's like, if the sun shines, it's the law you have to go outside. It's like everybody is out. You have to use some. You have to not waste it. Don't waste.

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Christine Chessman: so it's just but anyway, I digress. I love the fact. That you shared that about Bikini, and maybe that is something you could work on. Maybe that could be something if you want to. We don't ever have to. This is another really important point. We don't have to get to a point where we're totally accepting of every part of our body. And we were bearing our flat. That's the we have autonomy. And we're allowed to do what we want to do. But it's the fact that

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Christine Chessman: yeah, it would be really nice. That might be a nice thing to

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Christine Chessman: to work on in terms of accepting your but your belly and.

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Christine Chessman: Even not loving it, but maybe liking it, being neutral about it.

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Ela Law: Yeah.

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Christine Chessman: Are you now.

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Ela Law: Yeah.

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Christine Chessman: I am.

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Ela Law: Absolutely absolutely. Yeah, I think. But I think this, it just goes to show that you know you.

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Ela Law: And what you just said is is so true that we we don't have to.

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Ela Law: but we can take on the challenge if we choose to. So.

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Christine Chessman: Basic.

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Ela Law: If you are someone who feels very uncomfortable in your body, and in particular in the summer. That doesn't mean that you have to go out, and, you know, show your flesh, and to, you know, wear skimpy stuff. It doesn't mean that you are obliged to to make a point. It's more about.

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Ela Law: You have the opportunity, and you have the option to if you choose to, and there shouldn't really be any reason why you are not allowed to do that, because, you know, anybody has. Everybody has the right to be out and be

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Ela Law: enjoying life and doing the things that you do. I think it's all about finding ways to.

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Ela Law: as we said earlier, to be present, to enjoy life, I mean interestingly, we had a very, very short but very, very deep conversation about the meaning of life with my with my daughter the other day before she started rolling out.

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Ela Law: What is what is life all about. And I'm like, Oh, okay. And then she, you know, I I just got a sentence in before she started rolling her eyes at me because I'm so uncool. But she I said, the meaning of life is to live it.

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Ela Law: That is literally all there is.

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Ela Law: That is the meaning of life. If you want to leave a legacy go for it, but generally the meaning of life is to live it. But we can't live it if we don't experience it, and we're if we're not present. So I think

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Ela Law: that you know, society's got so many rules and regulations, and so many customs and so many things that you shouldn't shouldn't do that. I think it's high noon at time to stick to fingers up at it, and so.

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Christine Chessman: Yeah.

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Ela Law: I want to live my life I want to do. I want to go to the beach.

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Ela Law: I want to go swimming. I want to wear that dress. I want to wear that bikini, whatever it is you want to do.

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Ela Law: if you really want to do it, rather than sort of hiding away and and thinking that we're not worthy because we are not in the right shape. Stroke, body size. Do you see what I mean?

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Christine Chessman: And I mean we can. It can get so deep on this kind of stuff because it is about inherent, inherent worth, exactly as you are as you change as you age, as you know, it's that we are worthy. Now, there's nothing we need to do. There's nothing we need to fix or change it's, and it's

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Christine Chessman: so that we can stop living in 10 weeks. When I lose the way I'll be happy, or when I get back to that. When I was 21 I'll be happy. And it's what about 9? What about today? What about, you know? Can we just live our lives and

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Christine Chessman: and and maybe that's a lovely point to end on that. Can we just accept for today that this is our body.

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Ela Law: Yeah.

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Christine Chessman: Just, you know, just be with that just for today.

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Ela Law: For today, yeah.

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Christine Chessman: For today, and maybe just

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Christine Chessman: thank you. You don't have to accept it tomorrow. But just for today, give it a try and see. Do you know, just put it on for size. See? See how it feels. And it, you know, that's a really nice

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Christine Chessman: thing to try, isn't it? It's a really nice

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Christine Chessman: way to to move into that. If I you don't have to think I have to accept this body for the rest of my life just for this moment.

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Ela Law: Yeah, it takes the pressure off, doesn't it? It's literally small steps and

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Ela Law: as I said earlier it's just to strengthen that muscle, just to practice one day at a time.

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Christine Chessman: I remember my one of my counselors had one of my counselors that tells you if it might be one of my many counselors.

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Christine Chessman: Yeah, she used to say, have a worry window.

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Ela Law: Is, our.

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Christine Chessman: Had a lot of worries, and she's like, allow yourself to worry as much as you want. Between 6 and 6, 15 every evening.

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Ela Law: Oh!

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Christine Chessman: Fun with that

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Christine Chessman: save your worry up, and and between 6 and 6 15 you can worry all you want, and then let it go again. You know. Maybe even if one day feels too much to accept your body

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Christine Chessman: for half an hour, just try and think what if

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Christine Chessman: I'm okay now, exactly as I am. What if that was okay?

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Ela Law: Yeah.

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Christine Chessman: But I think that's a really nice way to end Ella.

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Ela Law: It is.

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Christine Chessman: I I really enjoyed that conversation. I think I I have a tendency to get deep, and so do you. So.

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Ela Law: We managed, didn't we? We did. Well.

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Christine Chessman: And I was just thinking you were saying your daughter was rolling her eyes.

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Ela Law: Oh, yeah.

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Christine Chessman: It's how old is your daughter?

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Ela Law: She's 12.

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Christine Chessman: Yeah, just too wet. It's gonna get a lot more.

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Ela Law: Looking forward to it.

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Christine Chessman: They don't just roll their eyes now they don't. I mean, I don't even get a sentence alert. It's not.

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Ela Law: Yeah, I'm almost there. It's just it's just so funny. I've also got a son who's 14 and the different.

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Christine Chessman: Is winning.

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Ela Law: In them is incredible. It is just so bizarre.

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Christine Chessman: Wow!

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Ela Law: He is not

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Ela Law: my biggest fan at the moment. So I'm just gonna roll with that, I think.

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Ela Law: for the next few years, apparently.

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Christine Chessman: That's like. That's why you have a dog.

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Ela Law: Absolutely.

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Christine Chessman: Love.

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Ela Law: Unconditional love that my dog gives me keeps me going.

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Christine Chessman: On that note. Yeah, thank you very much, Ella, and we will see every we will see. We will be back next week with another hot topic, but until then, thank you, Ella, and Chat soon.

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Ela Law: Thank you, too, and thank you everyone for listening.

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Ela Law: Bye.