What We Resist, Persists

In this episode, we explore a simple but powerful idea: when we resist uncomfortable feelings, they tend to grow stronger, not weaker.

This pattern shows up everywhere: for example anxiety on a plane, dental fear, body image, ageing, and cravings.

Key threads we unpack:

• Resistance breeds shame. When we don't admit we're struggling — because we feel we shouldn't be — that gap between who we are and who we think we should be becomes a breeding ground for shame.
• Naming a fear diffuses it. How advocating for ourselves and how being seen rather than being dismissed or "fixed" can make all the difference.
• Eating disorder recovery parallels. How treating a difficult part of yourself as an enemy that needs defeating can backfire — versus understanding it as a protective part trying to help.
• Body image and the "messy middle." You don't have to love your body to accept it. Holding two truths at once — "I feel uncomfortable with this" and "I'm not going back to the diet train" — is 'healthier' than forced positivity.
• Cravings work the same way. Resisting a food craving by having a substitute often just prolongs the craving — sometimes having the thing you actually want is the kinder, more effective option.
• Permission to not be the "fun, positive" person all the time. Whether it's dreading a hot holiday, not wanting a birthday party, or feeling slower on a run than you were years ago — we both land on the idea that accepting discomfort (rather than fighting it or forcing yourself into positivity) is what actually creates ease.

The takeaway: acceptance doesn't mean loving everything about how you feel or look — it means making room for the truth of where you are, without judgment, so the feeling doesn't have to fight so hard to be heard.

We'd love to hear your thoughts on this - is there something you resist, that just doesn't get easier or go away? Is there something in your life where acceptance would bring about ease and peace?

Transcript

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Ela Law: Expect too much from me.

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Christine Chessman: Hello, hello, hello. We're recording, we're a bit all over the place today, everybody, because it is very hot. And my family have got a jar, a hot jar now, that every time I complain about the heat, I've got to put money in.

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Ela Law: That's such a good idea! My children would be so rich by now if they did that. I am the worst complainer about the heat. I don't mind when it's rainy, I just can't bear this.

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Christine Chessman: I mean, I, to be fair to my kids, I moan when it's cold, because I've got Raynaud's.

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Ela Law: Oh, yeah.

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Christine Chessman: The heat is… I used to like the heat, but I'm 50, I'm perimenopausal, and it's… I do not like sweating all the time.

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Ela Law: I know.

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Christine Chessman: And this is why we're talking about what we're talking about, because I sat on the bus yesterday to go to the beach. Now, we're very privileged, we have a beach right next to us, we can go jump in the sea, and it's lovely. But to get to the beach.

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Christine Chessman: We had to get a bus!

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Christine Chessman: 20 minutes, and it was a very busy bus. And was there air conditioning? Of course there's not air conditioning.

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Ela Law: It's not!

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Christine Chessman: And I… bloody hell. And I sat there going, I'm okay, I'm not hot, I'm okay, I'm not that hot, it's gonna be okay, it's gonna… and of course, I just couldn't stop sweating, and I resisted the sweating, because I hate sweating, and the more I went, I'm not hot, it just got worse.

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Christine Chessman: And I think, this is a general thing, but if you keep resisting the fact that, actually, I'm really hot and I'm uncomfortable, wouldn't it be better if I just accepted it and…

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Ela Law: Yeah, I suppose you just focus more on it if you're trying to resist it, right?

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Christine Chessman: Well, both of you.

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Ela Law: is heightened.

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Christine Chessman: The more I go, I'm not hot, I'm not hot, I'm not… of course I'm hot. And I get more panicky because I'm not hot, I'm trying not to be hot, and of course you're hot.

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Christine Chessman: Let's maybe accept it.

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Christine Chessman: I had a similar thing. The reason I'm thinking about it is because I spoke to my lovely counsellor this morning about it, and it's something that I do constantly. It's like, I don't want to be the kind of person that struggles with the heat. I don't want to be the kind of person that doesn't look forward to a holiday in France because I'm worried about the heat. I resist that.

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Christine Chessman: But I am that person.

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Ela Law: Oh, I see.

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Ela Law: Yes.

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Christine Chessman: keep resisting it and making myself feel bad, because I shouldn't feel like that, and I should feel differently, and I should… and it's as similar with body image, with everything. I should not worry about how I look. I shouldn't worry if I've put weight on. I shouldn't worry what I look like in a… but I do.

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Ela Law: Mmm.

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Christine Chessman: It's that it's okay to feel a certain way and do it anyway, kind of. So that was my thinking behind…

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Ela Law: Mmm.

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Christine Chessman: What we resist persists.

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Christine Chessman: So I don't know if that makes any sense.

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Ela Law: It makes complete sense, and I would… yeah, now I'm thinking about it, I'm probably the same on quite a lot of…

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Ela Law: aspect in a lot of areas, and I think a lot of people probably resonate with this.

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Ela Law: Because it is that…

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Ela Law: we have this idea of what kind of person we want to be, but we… some things we just find… it's very difficult to help yourself, right? To… yeah, I mean, there's…

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Christine Chessman: There's a bit… there's a bit of you who's got to accept, so it's.

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Ela Law: Mmm.

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Christine Chessman: One thing that I noticed in… so we've just been through, eating disorder recovery with my daughter, and there's something that I noticed in their… the approach to eating disorder recovery is to make anorexia the big bad wolf. It's this eating.

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Ela Law: Beautiful.

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Christine Chessman: that lives inside of you. Rather than going, actually, it's a part of you.

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Christine Chessman: not make friends with it, but, like, talk for it, or just… not… it's… it is a part of you, and it's just…

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Christine Chessman: a protective part that's just trying to say, you've got other stuff going on, I'm going to help you, I'm going to help you feel this way, or who knows, there's many reasons, but the more we resist it and feel shame over it, and think it's this… the bigger it gets, that's the feeling that I have.

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Ela Law: Yeah.

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Ela Law: I would 100% agree with you, and I think with the people that I've worked with who have had eating disorders or are in recovery from it, that's exactly how we approach it. It's like, let's not push it away, let's just see it for what it is. It's there, it plays a part in protecting you, it does this and this, there's a reason for it being there, and let's just accept that there is a reason.

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Ela Law: For it, and… And maybe…

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Ela Law: I think the key word that you just said for me was shame, and I think the more we resist anything, the more shameful we feel about the thing that we're resisting. Does that make sense? So, I think…

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Ela Law: And this is completely new creative thoughts on my part, because I hadn't thought about this beforehand, so bear with me if it comes out as a jumbled mess. But,

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Ela Law: I think the shame element is the thing that we have these ideas of what we should and shouldn't be doing, and because we can't always help ourselves to not do them, there is this shame, this, like, oh, we failed at being that person that we want to be,

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Ela Law: And it's not something that we admit to, and therefore the shame can grow, because if we talk about it, shame can't really survive when we talk about stuff that we find difficult. But if we don't talk about it, and we struggle on trying to be this person, or trying to have these qualities that just aren't really…

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Ela Law: sitting right within us, I think…

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Ela Law: It's a, it's a breeding ground for shame.

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Christine Chessman: Yeah, I… I… I think so, and I think it… it's kind of true, certainly in terms of eating, in terms of… but, like, you know, it's things like anxiety. I think it's really true that

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Christine Chessman: you know, a silly example, but I always think examples help a little bit, but on the plane recently, I was really scared, and I do this thing that I'm not scared, I'm a grown-up, I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm not fine, I'm a mess.

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Christine Chessman: And actually, admitting that is really freeing.

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Ela Law: Yeah.

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Christine Chessman: It's… and I, you know, the last time I went, I've probably mentioned this before, I went to the front of the plane and said to the stewardesses.

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Christine Chessman: I get really nervous fine, and this turbulence is really making me a bit… is there anything that you'd recommend, or… And they were great, they were absolutely brilliant, and I felt so much better for just not sitting in my seat pretending to be fine.

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Ela Law: Yeah… But you were seen, weren't you? They heard you, they thought, okay, that's fine. They didn't have a problem with you having… being scared. It was just you who had a problem with… because the person you want to be is the person who isn't scared of sitting on a plane, right?

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Ela Law: Yeah, I had a similar thing yesterday at the dentist. I went to the dentist, and I have…

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Ela Law: quite severe dentist trauma from when I was younger, when I had my wisdom teeth dug out. I'm not gonna graphically describe what happened, but it was awful. And ever since then, whenever I go to the dentist and they say, oh, we need to replace that filling, I just break out in a cold sweat. So I had to have that done yesterday, and, he said, oh, you probably get away without, sedate… without, like, numbing it. I'm like, - I will not get away

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Ela Law: without any needles. I need to have a needle in there. Numb my face, please, thank you.

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Ela Law: I could have been the person… I would have liked to have been the person who said, okay, yeah, cool, let's do it, let's just see, what's the worst that can happen? I'm not… no, no, no.

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Ela Law: push that stuff into me so I don't feel a thing. It's bad enough hearing the drill. So, yeah, I think there are…

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Ela Law: And he was like, yeah, totally cool.

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Ela Law: And that then put me at ease, because it wasn't an overreaction on my part, but I think sometimes when someone

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Ela Law: shares a fear, or shares something that they find maybe a little bit embarrassing or uncomfortable, not belittling it and actually seeing them for, you know, what it is, and just saying, okay, that's just what it is, and accepting it.

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Christine Chessman: If you had said, oh, fine, I'll go ahead, because you were desperate to try and resist that feeling…

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Christine Chessman: You know, you probably would have had a horrible time.

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Christine Chessman: Fear would have got worse, and you would have gotten.

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Ela Law: Right?

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Christine Chessman: Or, so…

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Ela Law: Yeah.

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Christine Chessman: You absolutely did the right thing, and it's that bit of… I find it, because we're talking about body image on this podcast quite a bit, I find it relates to body image, because there's days where I went shopping with the girls and my daughters, and, you know, changing room mirrors are crap.

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Ela Law: Wow. Yeah.

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Christine Chessman: And you tried some stuff on and went, I don't like how I look in that, and I don't like

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Christine Chessman: And then I went, oh, I shouldn't be thinking that, because my job… I work with women to empower them and to not…

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Christine Chessman: But then I actually was like… I… I am hearing the part of myself that is going, I don't… I'm struggling with that, actually.

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Ela Law: Anna. Yeah.

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Christine Chessman: I'm sort of listening to that part, and kind of being okay that it's there.

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Ela Law: Yes.

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Christine Chessman: natural. We live in a culture of frigging, you know, this… Exactly. This way, but not this way. Yeah. So, it is absolutely natural, and by trying to kind of beat yourself up for having these thoughts…

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Christine Chessman: I think it's, it just makes it worse.

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Ela Law: Yes.

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Christine Chessman: Then you get an inner turmoil, inner fight in your brain, and you just…

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Ela Law: Yeah.

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Christine Chessman: I don't know, the feeling then persists, and it keeps going, you know?

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Ela Law: Yeah, yeah.

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Ela Law: Definitely. And you think there's something wrong with you for not

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Ela Law: Been, you know… whatever it is that you think is wrong with you, but there is this feeling of…

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Ela Law: I… maybe I haven't tried hard enough, or I'm failing at this, and… whereas understanding that, you know, just accepting that

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Ela Law: Yes, it doesn't always feel good, and you don't always feel happy about what you look like.

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Ela Law: is, I think, key to getting to a place of body acceptance. Doesn't mean you have to love it. You don't have to love all outfits on you, or get them just because you feel like, I should be able to wear that. If you don't feel comfortable in it, then I think admitting

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Ela Law: That… that's… that doesn't look good on me. Not everything looks good on everybody.

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Christine Chessman: It's, it's resisting, things like resisting the size that your body is.

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Ela Law: Mmm!

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Christine Chessman: That also leads to pain, and…

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Ela Law: Yeah.

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Christine Chessman: worse. So, you know, for years and years and years, I resisted the size that my body wanted to be, so I was.

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Ela Law: Mmm.

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Christine Chessman: was eating less than I needed, and working out more than I needed to.

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Christine Chessman: Because I was desperately trying to resist

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Christine Chessman: The body size that my body was just naturally gonna be.

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Ela Law: Hmm.

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Christine Chessman: And so that just led to years of…

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Christine Chessman: turmoil within myself and fighting with my body the whole time, whereas if I had just gone, okay.

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Christine Chessman: Maybe I want it to be that size, but that's not who I am. I can feel a certain way about it. That's okay that that's there.

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Christine Chessman: Gonna feed myself.

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Christine Chessman: Anyway, do you know what I mean? The difference? You can say, yeah, it's okay, I want it to be that size. I'm not.

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Christine Chessman: I don't want to be that size, and that's okay.

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Christine Chessman: Do you know what I mean? I think that's better than going, no, I'm an empowered woman, I'm very happy to be exactly…

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Christine Chessman: Do you know what I mean?

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Ela Law: Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. We don't have to swing the other way and say, oh, I'm just so happy with everything, because I think that puts a lot of pressure on us to be, like, to love

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Ela Law: our bodies, even if, deep down, we're not happy with it. There's some things that we don't like, and accepting that… it's a two-part acceptance, isn't it? It's accepting that my body's doing what it needs to do.

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Ela Law: Right? But it's also accepting that doesn't necessarily have to feel good.

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Ela Law: Yeah. Right? It's like… it's two things, because if you're resisting the…

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Ela Law: Oh, what's my brain thinking? If you're resisting the accepting part.

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Ela Law: You're forever trying to change your body, and sometimes that just isn't possible, or most of the time that isn't possible.

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Christine Chessman: And it's… I really think… I don't know, I think this is just…

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Christine Chessman: been a light bulb moment for me, because it is… so, we're going to France on Friday, and it is that… because it's going to be 40 degrees, I don't want to go, but I'm also going to go.

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Christine Chessman: And I've got, in my head, I've got sort of different things. I think it might be okay.

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Christine Chessman: I think I'll enjoy parts of it.

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Christine Chessman: But… I really am quite worried.

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Christine Chessman: And I don't like the hate. So I can… all of those things can be there.

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Christine Chessman: I don't have to be gone, no, I should be, like, so excited about this holiday for the girls, and I should feel like… it's okay for me to kind of go, okay, there will be… I'm sure there'll be good times.

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Christine Chessman: alright for me to feel a bit worried, that's there.

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Christine Chessman: But we'll get through it, all that. You know, it's just accepting that that's okay, it's normal. The weather's hot, it sucks.

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Ela Law: Yeah, yeah, exactly.

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Christine Chessman: You don't have to be perfect, it's this kind of…

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Christine Chessman: Sort of be this amazing, positive force all the time, when…

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Christine Chessman: you know, you're… you know, do you know what I mean?

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Christine Chessman: I've taken it, not very well.

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Ela Law: No, no, no, I think I know what you mean. I think it is the… it… I was thinking about that sort of link to trying to be perfect, and trying to tick all of the boxes all the time, and being… being the fun person that just takes everything in their stride, and doesn't find anything difficult, and… I mean, I'd love to be that person, and I find it really hard to admit that I'm struggling, I really do.

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Ela Law: I'm… I quite like a moan, but it's about, you know, it's like about the weather. I like to moan about the heat.

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Ela Law: Of course. But, it's… admitting that you're struggling with something is… it can be really, really hard for someone who has perfectionistic tendencies, and…

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Ela Law: I think it depends on who you're with. Sometimes it's been made harder if you're with a lot of fix-it people, because when you are struggling, and someone's always there to give you a quick fix, or to suggest what you might want to do.

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Ela Law: That's kind of the opposite of being seen, that is just basically feeding their ego to find a solution, and that makes you feel worse. Whereas if you have, like, your…

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Ela Law: flight attendants who were like, no problem, madam, we will sort you out, we will look after you, and it's fine, we will make sure that you're comfortable. That is being seen, but it's not like saying, oh, no, you'll be fine.

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Christine Chessman: Yeah, and this is the thing, if you'd gone to the dentist, and I'd go, oh, for goodness sake, will you start worrying, it's no big deal, it's only a filling, it's not that big a deal? Exactly. You would have been like, oh, I should be fine, I shouldn't have to…

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Ela Law: Yeah, yeah. Makes you feel worse, doesn't it? Makes you feel like a loser.

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Christine Chessman: So, I understand that.

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Christine Chessman: situation, or just… you know, it's… I think that scenario is perfect. That really, you know, not perfect, it's nothing for.

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Ela Law: Get away from perfect.

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Christine Chessman: That's great, because you kind of advocated for yourself, and hopefully you accepted, actually, I struggle with this.

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Christine Chessman: For a bit of extra.

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Ela Law: It's just…

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Christine Chessman: Because…

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Christine Chessman: That makes things easier.

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Christine Chessman: And it's interesting, because I had… my husband is like… I said, oh, I'm a bit nervous about France, you know, and he's like, well, I'm going to enjoy my holiday, and I'm going to look forward to going on holiday. And I was like, okay, but okay. And then I felt like a moany, stupid cow sitting in the glass.

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Christine Chessman: Then I went, no, actually, I'm very sensitive to heat.

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Christine Chessman: Yeah. And… I don't like it.

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Ela Law: No, and you're allowed to have that, and I think, again, this is the thing, isn't it? When someone says, oh, don't be such a, you know, you're so negative, I just get…

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Ela Law: get so offended when someone says, you're so negative, because I am not a negative person. However, then it makes you feel like you're not allowed to voice any concerns, or to say that you're struggling with something, or you're not comfortable with something, because…

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Ela Law: you don't want to be that person that is seen as someone who is, like, a moaning negative kind of, you know, pull-everyone-down kind of thing.

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Ela Law: Yeah, it's tricky, and also, I think it's a very binary way of looking at it, isn't it? There's no nuance, room for nuance in any of this. It's… you're either happy or you're sad. There's no in-between, and holding more than one truth can be really difficult for people, but it can also be something that, you know, we're not being…

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Ela Law: Toward how to do that? To accept that

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Ela Law: you know, you said, I'm looking forward to the holiday of parts of it. I'm also really worried about the heat, because I don't like it.

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Ela Law: But holding those two things at the same time, I think is really important, because those two things are both true, right?

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Christine Chessman: Yes, and it is… it's almost like that acceptance of your… whether it be your body, your personality, anything. Things like when I got my ADHD diagnosis, it got… it made it easier for me to accept certain things about.

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Ela Law: Oh my god.

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Christine Chessman: That I was really sensitive to noise, people chewing, all of that.

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Christine Chessman: And I don't particularly like… like, I love being around people, but it fires me, and I need time on my own, and I suddenly realized that's okay, because that's actually just how I am.

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Christine Chessman: my fault. It's not.

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Christine Chessman: anything I'm doing wrong, it's just actually

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Christine Chessman: how I… do you know what I mean? So that made it a little bit easier to accept certain things about myself and not judge myself so harshly for them, for not being…

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Christine Chessman: The perfect mom, or the most positive fun person, you know?

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Ela Law: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Ela Law: No, I think, I think it's, it's that, isn't it? It's the, it's the accepting, and sometimes there are certain things that help you

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Ela Law: be more accepting.

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Ela Law: a diagnosis, someone who actually sees you, someone who just holds space for you, and, you know, in terms of… when you said that, in terms of body image, there's also more than one truth, and not just two, you know, there is the truth that I feel uncomfortable

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Ela Law: In my body, because of whatever it is. Might be the size, might be your hair, might be whatever, and…

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Ela Law: I can accept that.

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Ela Law: that is my body, and I can accept that I feel uncomfortable with it, and there are certain things I might like. See, there's 4 truths already.

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Christine Chessman: And it's even, just to sort of say, I don't think grit body is quite freeing, rather than… because there's a lot… you're either trying to fix your body, you're trying to love your body, so it is that… it is just going… I feel a bit uncomfortable. I don't want to go back on the diet train.

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Ela Law: Bye.

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Christine Chessman: don't fail.

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Christine Chessman: Completely, like, I love every bit in my book.

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Ela Law: Oh my god.

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Christine Chessman: is that…

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Ela Law: Yeah.

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Christine Chessman: And if you can say, I don't really love it, but I know I don't want to go back there.

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Christine Chessman: I know that I don't want to… I want to give my body what it needs, and I want to take care of it, and be kind to it, and… so that… I think that's a real good… it might be a messy middle place, but it's actually a good place to be, because you know that didn't serve you.

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Christine Chessman: And it's okay not to be over here loving everything about your body. It's okay to be in the middle.

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Ela Law: Yeah.

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Christine Chessman: And sort of then getting into your body, so that's where we get, okay, objectified body, not that happy at the minute. How are we feeling inside.

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Ela Law: Yeah.

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Christine Chessman: That's what it all comes back to, really, isn't it?

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Ela Law: Absolutely. I was just thinking exactly that. It's the… it's the how do you feel in your body, not just about your body, and I think, what was I gonna say? About the…

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Ela Law: Oh god, lost my train of thought. It was something along the lines of, if you…

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Ela Law: If you find a way of…

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Ela Law: just feeling okay in your body, you will… you will… it becomes less important

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Ela Law: what it looks like. It'll be more about how do I feel… and you can… and again, that's again, going back to the two truths. You can feel like you don't like the look of it, but you can still find ways of

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Ela Law: feeling good, does that make sense? Yeah. So, you…

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Ela Law: it doesn't have to be a one or the other. It doesn't have to be, I don't like the look, therefore I feel bad in and about my body. You can still find ways of what makes you feel good, you know? Within that not liking everything about it, there are always pockets of…

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Ela Law: making yourself feel good. So, when you don't like your weight, there are ways of making yourself feel good within your body, still, without sort of focusing just on that. Does that make sense? I don't think I'm stringing that sentence together.

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Christine Chessman: But it's… yeah, and it is… it's kind of sitting with it a little bit.

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Ela Law: Mmm.

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Christine Chessman: I don't like it that much right now, and can I get into it and see how it feels when I move? And then… and I actually find when you get into your body and move it in a way that feels good, you tend to just get this more appreciation, even from the upside in. I mean, it kind of just…

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Christine Chessman: I don't know, it's that domino effect, just… or snowball effect. It just seems to help how you see yourself.

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Ela Law: Yeah.

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Christine Chessman: Do you know what I mean?

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Christine Chessman: Yeah, so on that note, I know you've got to run off, I also wanted to say, permission-wise, I think a lot of this is about giving ourselves permission to actually voice what we want, and in any scenario, and I remember, you know Tasha and Brandon, who were on, Rules and Rebellion, I'll put it in the show notes.

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Christine Chessman: he was kind of… I was saying, oh, I don't really want to do my birthday this year, I don't want to have a big party, and he went, don't? What are you.

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Ela Law: Yes, what are you doing?

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Christine Chessman: Like, just, you know, avoid people.

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Ela Law: Yeah.

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Christine Chessman: birthday, he just stays at home and just, like, avoids all people, and it's.

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Ela Law: Yeah?

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Christine Chessman: I was like, oh, but… and then I realized.

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Ela Law: Is that an option?

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Christine Chessman: It was really having a party for everybody else that I was doing, because I wasn't in the mood. Sometimes I'm in a party mood, but I really wasn't at that.

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Ela Law: Right.

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Christine Chessman: And so…

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Christine Chessman: I ended up having a party, but it made me think, there's so much in life we do.

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Christine Chessman: Because we think we should.

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Ela Law: Mmm.

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Christine Chessman: To appear to be the people that were not really.

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Christine Chessman: Do you know what I mean? We're trying to just present this image of who we think we should be, rather than.

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Ela Law: Yeah.

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Christine Chessman: actually are.

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Ela Law: Yeah.

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Ela Law: Yeah, absolutely. There's a lot of shoulding going on.

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Christine Chessman: I don't know if that's why I find people here unapologetically themselves.

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Ela Law: So…

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Christine Chessman: appealing.

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Ela Law: Yeah.

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Christine Chessman: And, you know, like Deb, Ben Fans, who we had on.

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Ela Law: Yeah, but don't you find that in this sort of society, it is quite, quite a bold step to take to actually be who you are, because there is a lot of… there's loads of us who are people-pleasers to more of a lesser degree. And also, I find that…

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Ela Law: that you… there's always a solution to everything, so if you… you need to… you need to be able to resist the temptation to fix, I think, as well, because if you admit to anybody that there is something that you feel uncomfortable with, there will be 10 people knocking on your door, selling you a solution straight away. So you have to be very resilient to all of that.

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Christine Chessman: Hmm.

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Ela Law: To say, actually, no thanks.

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Ela Law: I'm quite okay with feeling uncomfortable about this, and, you know, sticking to your guns, and to kind of doing what you feel is the right thing to do. Like, you know, Brandon saying, no, I'm gonna lock my door, no one's gonna see me on my birthday, I'm doing me, rather than having, like, a bunch of friends saying, oh, no, we can organize it, come to the pub, and we'll sort this out.

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Ela Law: you know, there's always fixers that want to sell you a solution when you voice any concern, or anything that you don't want to do, or you feel a bit bad about. There will be people who want to fix it for you, and I think that is incredibly hard to resist.

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Christine Chessman: And it is… it's that kind of thing that you… that I'm realizing you can do. I can say, I don't really like wrinkles, and I don't want to have wrinkled neck, or I don't want that, but I actually am also not willing to get any work done, because I don't want to model that. That's something… that's a value of mine.

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Ela Law: Yep.

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Christine Chessman: of mine, I don't judge anybody else, because everybody has their own values.

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Christine Chessman: important to them, that I want to model to the kids that your body is not a project to be fixed.

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Christine Chessman: So, but I still might not…

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Ela Law: Love it.

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Christine Chessman: I'm sitting going, oh, I love my… no, I did not mean that. So that's okay to accept. Oh, I don't love the fact that, you know.

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Ela Law: Yeah.

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Christine Chessman: Put goggles on, and 10 hours later, you still got your…

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Ela Law: Oh, you too! Oh my god. That's why I don't do any front crawl attempts, because I would just…

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Christine Chessman: I don't love that, but I'm also not gonna go and get that fixed.

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Ela Law: No.

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Christine Chessman: you know, so it is that… but if I resist that, if I go, I'm not gonna have lines under my eyes, then I'll spend my whole life trying to…

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Christine Chessman: resist that and get… you know, and it's nothing wrong with getting work done, but I know my personality that I would keep getting more… it would never stop.

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Christine Chessman: Do you know what I mean? So there would be… because that's then not perfect, and then that's not… then that's.

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Ela Law: I mean, just completely.

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Christine Chessman: you, so…

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Ela Law: So in that sense, to go back to the topic, you have to resist that urge to fix.

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Ela Law: Otherwise, if you don't resist it, it will persist in the sense that you will continue to have work done.

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Christine Chessman: Hmm…

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Ela Law: Right?

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Christine Chessman: Yeah, yeah.

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Ela Law: Yeah?

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Ela Law: Did I get that?

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Christine Chessman: No, so it's… Either way wrong. So it's what you resist persists.

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Ela Law: Yeah, that's what I mean. You're resisting… Well, you're resisting the aging.

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Christine Chessman: Yeah, exactly.

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Ela Law: By having the work done, and then it persists because you want to have more and more work done. I probably didn't say that right, but yeah, that's what I meant. Yeah.

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Ela Law: Oh, it's hard, it's hot! It's hard.

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Christine Chessman: I threw you this week. What you resist persists, and I knew what I meant in my brain. I do think it has so many touchpoints with body image and nutrition and moving your body as well, you know. I won't be…

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Christine Chessman: I want to… there's another thing that I want to run at the same pace that I did 18 years ago, when I did my fastest… Yeah.

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Ela Law: Yeah.

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Christine Chessman: And…

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Christine Chessman: that's not something that I can… so I could spend the whole time resisting the fact that I'm slower now.

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Ela Law: Huh.

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Christine Chessman: And trying to get faster and faster, and I really… actually, I am a bit slower, because I'm not running as much, and that's okay.

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Christine Chessman: So is that… do you know what I mean? The more I go, no, I'm not good enough, I can't do this, I can't do it, I should be faster, I should be… it's just…

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Christine Chessman: Yeah. Horrible. If I go, I'm not as fast as I was, that's okay.

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Ela Law: Yeah, yeah. It's allowing, isn't it? As you said, giving permission. I was just thinking, in terms of… in terms of eating, what you resist persists. It's, on a very simple note, it's cravings, isn't it? If you crave something, and you resist having that food, it'll keep… I mean, I think this will resonate with most people. If you want chocolate, and then you have a protein bar, and then you have a coffee, and then you…

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Ela Law: Have some rice cakes.

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Ela Law: the craving for chocolate will persist. You will still want the chocolate, you will have filled yourself up with all sorts of alternatives, but…

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Christine Chessman: And you'll either then go get the chocolate, or you'll be feeling really unsatisfied the whole day.

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Ela Law: Exactly, exactly.

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Christine Chessman: Exactly. All of your… and you wish you'd had… so just have the chocolate, really.

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Ela Law: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Soften the resistance.

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Christine Chessman: Yeah, and have, you know, it's… it is warm, so have an ice cream on the beach.

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Ela Law: Yes.

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Christine Chessman: If you can.

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Ela Law: My new favorite thing, affogatos, have you had an affogato?

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Christine Chessman: I love affogato, so that's, like.

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Ela Law: How did I almost turn 50 and not have had one?

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Christine Chessman: We used to go to Italy, before kids, you know, when we had money.

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Christine Chessman: I'm fine.

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Ela Law: They do go hand in hand, don't.

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Christine Chessman: And so… and I remember going to a cafe and just getting a sort of, like, vanilla ice cream with espresso poured all over the top. It was, like, my favorite thing.

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Ela Law: It's the best thing in the world.

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Christine Chessman: So good.

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Ela Law: Yeah.

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Christine Chessman: Don't do anything else from this podcast, go have an advocate.

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Ela Law: have an affogato. If you've never had one before, do it now, before you, you know, before you live your life without.

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Christine Chessman: Do not listen to Jill Wicks, drink lots of water, and skip a workout or two in the heat, please. Do not run up hills in the sunshine when it's 30 degrees.

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Ela Law: What has he… what's he spouted?

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Christine Chessman: No, no, no, I'm just saying about his marathon. You don't need to drink water, you don't need to… you need to drink water, you need to fuel, you need to make sure, especially in this weather, you are not overdoing it.

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Ela Law: Please drink water, thank you.

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Christine Chessman: Biede.

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Christine Chessman: And as a PT, I will give you permission to not do any workouts until the heat wave is over.

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Ela Law: Thank you very much! You're welcome.

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Christine Chessman: Alright, thank you, everybody, and we will be back in a couple of weeks' time. We're taking a little tiny hiatus for the summer, but we will have… we will do lots of lovely re-releases from some of our most popular episodes, so watch out for that. But for now, lots of love! Bye!