How to Manage the Fear of Weight Gain over 40.

Wow this one was juicy.

I have to say, Ela and I were both ON it for this episode😘     

Ela had been finding in sessions that many of her clients were scared, not just of weight gain but of what digging deeper into their dieting history would involve. 

Leaving the perceived 'safety' and 'control' around dieting or 'watching our weight' can make us feel uneasy.
 Trusting our body and our intrinsic cues takes time.   Bri Campos talks about body image healing being an 'excavation' rather than a 'journey' and there is certainly no destination.  
Please enjoy the episode and let us know what you think. 

Please reach out if you would like some support with your relationship to food OR movement. Ela currently has limited spaces for Intuitive Eating coaching and if you'd like to reconnect with movement, contact Christine.

AND if you enjoyed this episode, please share and follow the 'Find Your Strong podcast' and if you have time, write us a short review. It would honestly mean the world. Love to you all, Ela & Christine x

Transcript

1
00:00:02.320 --> 00:00:04.270
Christine Chessman: Hi, Ella! How are you?

2
00:00:04.270 --> 00:00:06.490
Ela Law: I'm very well. How are you?

3
00:00:06.490 --> 00:00:11.150
Christine Chessman: I'm okay. As you know, I'm recovering from a horrible tummy bug.

4
00:00:11.340 --> 00:00:12.660
Christine Chessman: So as

5
00:00:13.090 --> 00:00:19.491
Christine Chessman: I felt better in my life. But I'm much better today than I was yesterday. So maybe it was a 3 day thing.

6
00:00:19.770 --> 00:00:22.510
Ela Law: You showed up so well done.

7
00:00:22.510 --> 00:00:25.910
Christine Chessman: No. Oh, I love the podcast. I'm always gonna show.

8
00:00:26.250 --> 00:00:37.260
Ela Law: It's it's it's lovely to to chat to you. Yeah, today, I thought we could broach something that will go a little bit deep. Cause. It's something that's kind of cropped up

9
00:00:37.260 --> 00:00:57.760
Ela Law: for me with my work and with sort of speaking to people, which is the fear that we might experience when we decide to leave dieting and diet culture behind. Because I think that for a lot of us it can bring up an awful lot of

10
00:00:57.930 --> 00:01:01.409
Ela Law: stuff that we've tried to leave in the past.

11
00:01:01.560 --> 00:01:12.520
Ela Law: And yeah, I was just wondering what you thought of that, and whether that whether you've encountered that with your clients, or for yourself, or anything that you sort of

12
00:01:12.710 --> 00:01:15.390
Ela Law: can think of when it comes to that

13
00:01:15.910 --> 00:01:22.479
Ela Law: sort of fear around moving to somewhere that we might not know. Moving to the unknown.

14
00:01:23.280 --> 00:01:25.773
Christine Chessman: Oh, I mean, that's a big question, isn't it?

15
00:01:26.050 --> 00:01:26.420
Ela Law: That.

16
00:01:26.420 --> 00:01:32.799
Christine Chessman: I think it's all about the fear. I think the fear is stopping most of us from taking that next step.

17
00:01:32.820 --> 00:01:47.580
Christine Chessman: and that's keeping us in that perceived control. I always say perceived control, because we don't have control over our bodies, as we often say, but I think so many of us, you know, are are a bit scared of how our bodies will respond if we

18
00:01:48.120 --> 00:02:07.809
Christine Chessman: so that's the 1st thing. If we suddenly stop monitoring them and monitoring every little bite that goes into our mouths, and every calorie that we burn off at the gym. What, actually, what's our body gonna do? How is it gonna change, you know. Will I still be able to fit in my clothes? Will I still be attractive? Those are really real fears for people.

19
00:02:07.810 --> 00:02:26.610
Christine Chessman: and as you hit that perimenopause post menopause years, you know, it's called the second peak of bodies dissatisfaction. So it's like the hormones. Just increase that the fluctuating hormones increase that sense of body dissatisfaction. We may be holding weight differently anyway, on our bodies. So it's

20
00:02:26.950 --> 00:02:31.110
Christine Chessman: it's really hard, I think that's the 1st thing I would say. But also.

21
00:02:31.160 --> 00:02:34.310
Christine Chessman: if you are digging into your dieting past.

22
00:02:34.530 --> 00:02:36.650
Christine Chessman: there's a lot of pain.

23
00:02:36.680 --> 00:02:48.330
Christine Chessman: the body pan there, there's a lot of body shaming, you know, there's a lot of memories that maybe you don't want to think about. Maybe things you don't want to think about that you've buried under the carpet.

24
00:02:49.126 --> 00:02:57.530
Christine Chessman: Trauma for some people there's a there's. There's a lot of factors that would make you think it's just easier to carry on as you are.

25
00:02:57.790 --> 00:02:58.540
Ela Law: Yeah.

26
00:02:58.960 --> 00:03:07.829
Ela Law: yeah, totally. I think the the 1st point, I I think, is, is so true that fear of gaining weight and not knowing

27
00:03:07.850 --> 00:03:10.939
Ela Law: how our bodies will respond to

28
00:03:11.180 --> 00:03:33.129
Ela Law: being more intuitive, and to letting go of that of that control of that we have to monitor every single thing that we do, and we eat, and everything, and and and worrying about, you know, gaining weight, which, to be honest with you, I would say the majority of people who at least those that come from a restrictive kind of

29
00:03:33.640 --> 00:04:01.899
Ela Law: mindset and background that is quite likely to happen, and that can feel really really scary, and people say, Well, I don't want to put on weight. I don't want to change my dress size from practical points, but also from a fear of what does that actually mean? If I put on weight, what will that mean in terms of how I think about myself? But also how other people think about me if I gain weight. So there is this real real

30
00:04:01.900 --> 00:04:03.233
Ela Law: problem and

31
00:04:04.010 --> 00:04:15.829
Ela Law: and concern about that. But also, as I said, from a practical point of view. I've had lots of people say to me, well, I can't afford to buy a whole new wardrobe if I now put on lots of weight. So there's all sorts of things that are.

32
00:04:16.161 --> 00:04:21.790
Christine Chessman: I would counter that if they suddenly lost it, I think they would have no problem. Finding.

33
00:04:22.210 --> 00:04:23.379
Ela Law: That's such a good point.

34
00:04:23.380 --> 00:04:26.379
Christine Chessman: Some way around it, so I'm not saying there.

35
00:04:26.860 --> 00:04:33.090
Christine Chessman: So if they don't have the funds, but they'd find some way around it. I think it's I still think it's better than that

36
00:04:33.550 --> 00:04:46.740
Christine Chessman: nervousness of gaining weight. And what does that say about me? Does that say I'm busy? Does that say, you know I'm not quite good enough? I'm not attractive. What does that say about me? I don't work hard enough. I don't exercise enough.

37
00:04:46.840 --> 00:04:50.880
Christine Chessman: you know. What does. What does that say about my value as a person. It's

38
00:04:51.040 --> 00:04:53.440
Christine Chessman: it's kind of digging into that, isn't it?

39
00:04:53.820 --> 00:05:13.120
Ela Law: Yeah. And I think that is scary, because often we quite like to keep all the stuff under the carpet and not dig it up and and explore it, because that is just so much more challenging than to just keep doing what we're doing. And I sometimes do this sort of cost benefit analysis with with my clients to kind of see? Well, what's the cost of

40
00:05:13.230 --> 00:05:25.000
Ela Law: sticking to what you're doing? What's the benefit of it? And what's the cost of changing things. And what's the benefit of it? And sometimes that's a real eye opener, because it's like, actually.

41
00:05:25.490 --> 00:05:34.630
Ela Law: there's not an awful lot of benefit to sticking with what I'm doing. There is one, and often it's a sort of a secondary benefit, but but generally

42
00:05:35.100 --> 00:05:48.300
Ela Law: generally the the wish to make a change is bigger, because the perceived benefit of doing that, and the real benefit of doing that is is just so much more worth it for them. So.

43
00:05:48.450 --> 00:05:51.160
Ela Law: but you need to be in a place where

44
00:05:51.430 --> 00:06:05.690
Ela Law: where you, where you get that, and where you feel ready to confront all of your demons from the past and and dredge up some stuff that might be uncomfortable and actually be open to as you set sitting in the suck and just being

45
00:06:05.710 --> 00:06:11.449
Ela Law: being okay with that, and understanding that you know that that is part of the healing process.

46
00:06:11.920 --> 00:06:18.640
Christine Chessman: And it's it's, you know, it's something that's bounded about a lot. It's the term doesn't align with your value. So what.

47
00:06:19.070 --> 00:06:43.620
Christine Chessman: What I'm saying is, I wanna keep myself really small. Why, why do I wanna keep myself small? Would I want my friend to keep herself small by monitoring every bite that she eats, and having no freedom around food, not being able to have an ice cream with her child on the beach. No, I would not, so that, you know by would do it to myself. Why, why? And it's it's a question I serve. Always ask clients. But

48
00:06:43.680 --> 00:06:46.359
Christine Chessman: what is your goal? With that, you know it's

49
00:06:46.470 --> 00:06:53.640
Christine Chessman: why do you want to keep yourself small? What is the benefit of that? You know? It's exactly that it's that benefit and analysis, isn't it?

50
00:06:53.993 --> 00:06:59.729
Christine Chessman: What are you losing? What are you gaining? It's a very simple idea, but it's if you actually write it down.

51
00:07:00.950 --> 00:07:03.679
Christine Chessman: What you're gaining is like. Paige is.

52
00:07:04.100 --> 00:07:04.590
Ela Law: It just.

53
00:07:04.590 --> 00:07:08.910
Christine Chessman: Things and what you're losing, even though it seems small.

54
00:07:09.460 --> 00:07:12.119
Christine Chessman: It's very grippy gripped onto you, doesn't it?

55
00:07:12.454 --> 00:07:22.820
Ela Law: Yeah, and I think sometimes it's a really good exercise to do to actually physically, write it down as you said, you you will be often astounded. How many benefits

56
00:07:22.920 --> 00:07:33.750
Ela Law: moving away from dieting and actually change, changing your life around your sort of relationship with food and movement, and how much, how many benefits that would bring you. And

57
00:07:33.920 --> 00:07:52.689
Ela Law: you know I'm not saying that that one benefit that you might find by staying small and staying thinner, or whatever it is that that can't be your priority for some people it still is for some people that that is the most important thing. But I think

58
00:07:52.920 --> 00:07:59.129
Ela Law: when we sort of confront what that actually means, and investigate what that actually means.

59
00:07:59.340 --> 00:08:03.160
Ela Law: we can really confront the fear that's underlying it.

60
00:08:03.520 --> 00:08:07.225
Christine Chessman: And I think the fair. There's so many places you could go with this.

61
00:08:07.790 --> 00:08:35.690
Christine Chessman: I often quote Doctor Jen Salad Huber, who's menopause nutritionist online, but she often says there's no room for living. If you can't sit on the beach and have an ice cream with your daughter or your son, now obviously lactose free, if you're intolerant or anything like that. But I think and she also says, which I find very interesting. She says, if body image is driving your self-esteem bus. You will never be happy.

62
00:08:35.690 --> 00:08:36.220
Ela Law: -

63
00:08:36.220 --> 00:08:39.140
Christine Chessman: And I think for many of us it is.

64
00:08:40.070 --> 00:08:49.690
Christine Chessman: I think we certainly for me, for most of my life. If I have been in a heavier body or a lighter body. That's determined how I feel about myself.

65
00:08:51.020 --> 00:08:51.620
Ela Law: this.

66
00:08:51.620 --> 00:08:55.940
Christine Chessman: And that is a very sad and very honest thing to say. It doesn't anymore.

67
00:08:55.970 --> 00:08:58.230
Christine Chessman: But it certainly did for many years.

68
00:08:58.230 --> 00:09:15.110
Ela Law: I think you're not alone in that. I think there's quite a lot of people who feel the same. It's the same kind of thing with weighing yourself daily and letting the number dictate how you feel on that given day. And there's so many people who still do that, who let that dictate

69
00:09:15.400 --> 00:09:23.509
Ela Law: that their whole lives, basically what they eat, what they do, how they feel their emotional kind of state. And it's

70
00:09:23.590 --> 00:09:27.690
Ela Law: it's so sad, really, because, as you said, you're not actually living

71
00:09:27.810 --> 00:09:45.209
Ela Law: your life, are you? You can't live your life. I love what Jen Hoover said. I think that's that's brilliant. It's it really isn't being present, is it? It's being your head, and really just focusing on one aspect of you rather than embracing the rest of

72
00:09:45.480 --> 00:09:47.559
Ela Law: what there is out there for you.

73
00:09:47.560 --> 00:09:58.240
Christine Chessman: And in terms of movement. So some people say, oh, there's no joyful movement movement so, and you can't. So Bree. Campbell says this, and we talked about pre campus earlier.

74
00:09:58.725 --> 00:09:59.210
Ela Law: Systemic.

75
00:09:59.210 --> 00:10:02.789
Christine Chessman: You can't have joyful movement in a body. You're not connected to.

76
00:10:02.790 --> 00:10:03.240
Ela Law: -

77
00:10:03.240 --> 00:10:19.639
Christine Chessman: And most of us are, especially if we're trying to maintain and beat our body into submission, to look a certain way all the time. And you know, even though it's naturally gonna change. And we can't be present with that body because we're actively always trying to change that body.

78
00:10:20.150 --> 00:10:29.339
Christine Chessman: We're not living in that body we're thinking of when it gets to here when it gets to. So you can't be present with it. If that makes sense, you can't connect fully

79
00:10:29.836 --> 00:10:34.819
Christine Chessman: so it's harder to really experience joy in movement in a body that you

80
00:10:34.940 --> 00:10:36.490
Christine Chessman: don't accept

81
00:10:36.600 --> 00:10:38.660
Christine Chessman: or don't connect to.

82
00:10:39.130 --> 00:11:08.939
Ela Law: Yeah, that makes complete sense. That reminds me a little bit of what Lindsey and Lexi Kite say in their book more than a body where it's it's about. It's almost like we are. We are looking at our bodies from the outside like an outsider as an object rather than being in our body as an instrument and as a as a vessel to kind of have a great time. It's very much about that, isn't it? It's almost like whatever we do, we're doing it as if we're watching ourselves rather than

83
00:11:09.010 --> 00:11:11.590
Ela Law: just being present and being there.

84
00:11:12.020 --> 00:11:14.360
Christine Chessman: Yeah. So they call it self objectification, as.

85
00:11:14.360 --> 00:11:15.480
Ela Law: Yeah, yeah.

86
00:11:15.786 --> 00:11:37.870
Christine Chessman: I find that so powerful. I think they did a study on people taking maths, exams, or something, and and they were the 1st set dressed in swimsuits, and then the second, and it was something the results were so different. Cause, you know, a lot of people who were dressing. All they could think about was their bodies, and how their bodies were looking to other people, and.

87
00:11:37.870 --> 00:11:38.660
Ela Law: Hmm.

88
00:11:38.970 --> 00:11:41.719
Christine Chessman: And just not connected in any way.

89
00:11:41.720 --> 00:11:42.480
Ela Law: Hmm.

90
00:11:42.480 --> 00:11:52.950
Christine Chessman: Yeah, but it's really hard. We're saying this like, it's easy. It's really freaking hard to keep to not want your body to look a certain way in the culture we live in. It's like

91
00:11:53.050 --> 00:11:55.930
Christine Chessman: you. You are swimming upstream.

92
00:11:55.930 --> 00:11:57.010
Ela Law: Umhm. Yeah.

93
00:11:57.010 --> 00:11:57.750
Christine Chessman: You.

94
00:11:57.750 --> 00:12:00.042
Ela Law: All the time, and it's bloody, exhausting.

95
00:12:00.370 --> 00:12:00.990
Christine Chessman: Yeah.

96
00:12:00.990 --> 00:12:05.300
Ela Law: It is. But so what would you? What would you say to somebody who

97
00:12:05.450 --> 00:12:07.260
Ela Law: who finds that

98
00:12:08.430 --> 00:12:28.160
Ela Law: being okay in their body and and trying to connect to their body. How? What a what would you? What would you recommend? So what kind of strategies, what kind of techniques, what kind of skills do you teach them or share with them? And how do you approach that that fear when someone says, I really, really, I'm scared of going there.

99
00:12:28.940 --> 00:12:30.556
Christine Chessman: In terms of movement.

100
00:12:30.960 --> 00:12:41.619
Ela Law: Yeah, in terms of movement, but also in terms of fear of gaining weight. If they don't move, say, or if they if they sort of are learning to accept that their bodies, changing.

101
00:12:42.300 --> 00:12:47.509
Christine Chessman: And I I love with clients which many of them really don't like

102
00:12:48.020 --> 00:12:49.130
Christine Chessman: initially.

103
00:12:49.520 --> 00:13:04.789
Christine Chessman: Is to slow it down the night. They might at times a day. I say, if you just go a little bit slower, if you could just slow it down because everybody is coming in and just go whack, bang! Bang! Like up and down, but because they're not connecting with the breath or their body.

104
00:13:04.790 --> 00:13:06.200
Ela Law: It's because they.

105
00:13:06.200 --> 00:13:08.170
Christine Chessman: Just want to get it done.

106
00:13:08.190 --> 00:13:17.069
Christine Chessman: and it's still that punishment earn and burn cycle that they're on. It's like more cardio, more cardio. Punish the body. Quick, punish!

107
00:13:17.627 --> 00:13:38.930
Christine Chessman: And it's you know it's telling them to actually let's tune in and break. And you know, if you breathe with the movement, especially if you're lifting with your strength, like put is much higher, can lift heavier wits. And you can, because you gotta use the muscles you've got to connect to the muscles. So the 1st thing I would do is slow it down.

108
00:13:39.350 --> 00:13:43.340
Christine Chessman: Just see. I mean, usually the exercise means a lot harder.

109
00:13:43.944 --> 00:14:05.660
Christine Chessman: So that's why people don't. But that's the 1st thing that I would do is just take it a bit slower, and that's not easy for people that's really not easy, but it's even adding like a slow session to your week. If you're a cardio, Bunny, or you're at the gym all the time adding one really gentle, not for weight loss.

110
00:14:05.790 --> 00:14:13.670
Christine Chessman: Yoga session, really gentle, like restorative Yoga session for 10 min once a week.

111
00:14:14.540 --> 00:14:16.279
Christine Chessman: That's a really good way in.

112
00:14:17.450 --> 00:14:18.089
Ela Law: and just.

113
00:14:18.090 --> 00:14:22.749
Christine Chessman: Seeing if you can connect with how your body's feeling and what X. What's sore? What's

114
00:14:22.790 --> 00:14:33.150
Christine Chessman: how this shoulder sits compared to this shoulder? Start sort of tuning in. I find that really valuable. And when you're in your body, really in it.

115
00:14:33.460 --> 00:14:37.260
Christine Chessman: and moving it, you feel so different afterwards.

116
00:14:39.169 --> 00:14:51.639
Christine Chessman: And that can sort of make you feel better about your body, Ella. So if you can get, you know Lexi and Lindsey kite. Talk about the flow state when you're in that flow state with movement that you're not thinking about what your body looks like.

117
00:14:52.620 --> 00:14:59.359
Christine Chessman: You think you feel different, it feels really different. So I don't know. That's that's my tip.

118
00:14:59.510 --> 00:15:02.789
Ela Law: Yeah, I love that so much. I do. I

119
00:15:03.080 --> 00:15:18.260
Ela Law: I think it is just really difficult for some people to connect to their bodies and having those kind of the idea of slowing things down, I get the kind of challenge in terms of eating as well. When I work with clients on

120
00:15:18.854 --> 00:15:28.609
Ela Law: on intuitive eating and and their relationship with food, and in particular, because they want to do everything straight away. And I say, No slow it down. Can we do one thing?

121
00:15:28.680 --> 00:15:46.829
Ela Law: Can we just this week? Can we focus on whatever it is and not try and do everything because it it disconnects you again because you're in your head because you're constantly thinking about. Oh, I need to do this and this, and then I need to be mindful around that. And it's like, No, because you're then thinking about being mindful. But you're not actually.

122
00:15:46.830 --> 00:15:47.739
Christine Chessman: Actually being my.

123
00:15:47.740 --> 00:15:51.940
Ela Law: Experiencing it. You're not actually feeling it, and I

124
00:15:52.030 --> 00:15:54.340
Ela Law: I think, in terms of sort of

125
00:15:54.720 --> 00:16:10.960
Ela Law: tapping into your body and connecting to your body whilst I don't work with movement, because I'm not not so fitness professional. But I do invite people to do things that have nothing to do with movement or eating for example, just say.

126
00:16:11.090 --> 00:16:17.479
Ela Law: when you brush your teeth, can you do that and really focus on what that toothbrush feels in your mouth?

127
00:16:17.480 --> 00:16:17.870
Christine Chessman: Yes.

128
00:16:17.870 --> 00:16:33.042
Ela Law: You when you make a cup of tea, can you really just notice how your hand picks up the kettle and pause, and how that feels. Where do you feel that in your body when you go outside? Can you take your shoes off and stand on the grass for.

129
00:16:33.340 --> 00:16:48.319
Christine Chessman: It's the senses, isn't it? It's just feeling into your senses. I did a post on it today. And I said, If you're having a bad body. Image Day. Look up liquor and take in the smells the signs that you know it really, frigging helps you get out of your head.

130
00:16:48.320 --> 00:16:48.930
Ela Law: Yes, I.

131
00:16:48.930 --> 00:16:50.460
Christine Chessman: Into your body, doesn't it?

132
00:16:50.740 --> 00:16:58.200
Ela Law: And wouldn't you say it's a practice that it's it can be challenging at first, st but the more you do it the easier it gets to tune in and to really.

133
00:16:58.510 --> 00:17:18.369
Christine Chessman: And I think if somebody is struggling to slow down, which, for many reasons that can be very traumatic for somebody, I think that taking a walk, and just literally, as you're saying, looking around. And maybe, you know, using your peripheral vision a little bit, and just or smelling a floor or some lavender or so. Anything like that.

134
00:17:18.390 --> 00:17:27.349
Christine Chessman: Give yourself just a moment out of that busyness that's going on. That can be a bit of connection right there, so as simple as that.

135
00:17:28.240 --> 00:17:33.769
Ela Law: Yeah, I love that. Yeah, it's just that. It's breaking that cycle of being in your head, isn't it? It's just.

136
00:17:33.770 --> 00:17:38.950
Christine Chessman: But it's it's just to what you said about the the mindful eating thing. So that's something I'm not good at.

137
00:17:39.460 --> 00:17:40.180
Ela Law: Bye, bye.

138
00:17:40.180 --> 00:17:45.510
Christine Chessman: Possible. Adhd over here. I really struggled to eat without

139
00:17:45.650 --> 00:17:46.810
Christine Chessman: the TV.

140
00:17:47.690 --> 00:17:50.279
Christine Chessman: Okay, or a book or my phone?

141
00:17:50.694 --> 00:17:55.085
Christine Chessman: I really struggle with it. If I'm with my family. No problem, we're chatting, that's great.

142
00:17:55.650 --> 00:17:59.269
Christine Chessman: But I struggle, so I occasionally take a bit of chocolate.

143
00:17:59.740 --> 00:18:07.220
Christine Chessman: Yes, I never do a reason, because that is boring. I take some chocolate, and I try and sit there for 2 min, and I go

144
00:18:07.260 --> 00:18:09.800
Christine Chessman: look at me. I'm mindfully eating. I'm so.

145
00:18:10.315 --> 00:18:10.830
Ela Law: Thanks.

146
00:18:11.030 --> 00:18:11.660
Ela Law: Just.

147
00:18:11.660 --> 00:18:18.829
Christine Chessman: And I tried to take really slow bites, and, you know, falls, and but I'm doing it. It's, it seems, contrived for me.

148
00:18:18.830 --> 00:18:19.500
Ela Law: Hmm.

149
00:18:20.060 --> 00:18:26.670
Christine Chessman: So because i i i find I don't I? So I don't pressurize clients into sitting there.

150
00:18:27.200 --> 00:18:32.570
Christine Chessman: It's like anything, and just settings fine, because I think, as you're saying, it's too much too soon.

151
00:18:33.880 --> 00:18:34.620
Christine Chessman: And I think.

152
00:18:34.620 --> 00:19:00.919
Ela Law: Scary it's it's really scary. Because if you're if you're not used to being on your own, with your thoughts and your body, because you're distracting yourself generally. It's a really scary prospect to just sit there and do nothing. That's why I love this everyday mindfulness when you're actually doing something that you do. You do every day, anyway, and doing that mindfully, like doing the dishes or brushing your teeth or rubbing in your face cream, or wherever it is.

153
00:19:00.920 --> 00:19:17.829
Ela Law: Can you do that that you're already doing mindfully, and that takes that sort of scariness away a little bit. But it's so interesting when you said about. I can't eat without distractions without having some like my book or having something. I I would say that it's

154
00:19:18.560 --> 00:19:20.940
Ela Law: it's it can be a

155
00:19:21.010 --> 00:19:45.830
Ela Law: a nice thing to do, because you're having that break of running around and working, and you want to use it in a way that you know you enjoy reading or watching the telly while you're eating. I think it is. It's absolutely fine to do that. And I often just watch my favorite program when I have lunch, I mean, hand up here. I'm not mindful eating all the time, either, but I think

156
00:19:46.300 --> 00:19:50.639
Ela Law: what mindful eating is supposed to do really is

157
00:19:51.303 --> 00:19:55.679
Ela Law: it's a bit of an overuse term, isn't it? But it helps you to check in.

158
00:19:55.760 --> 00:20:14.470
Ela Law: But you can do that before you start eating. So checking in. How hungry am I, and actually sort of going back to? When did I eat last? And how does my body feel now that I've established that I've had. I don't know. 5 h since my last meal. How is my body feeling? What is? What is it telling me?

159
00:20:14.820 --> 00:20:25.709
Ela Law: You can do that before you eat, and then you can eat, and you can watch some. Telly it might be slightly harder when you're distracted to kind of notice when you're comfortably full. If you're working on that as well. But.

160
00:20:25.710 --> 00:20:32.860
Christine Chessman: You can. What I like to do is kind of pause the TV just for a minute and just sort of think right. Hi, am I feeling? I am? I feel.

161
00:20:32.980 --> 00:20:36.630
Christine Chessman: Do I need some more food? I might, you know, just and then.

162
00:20:36.870 --> 00:20:37.779
Ela Law: Have to.

163
00:20:38.020 --> 00:20:38.700
Christine Chessman: Whatever it is.

164
00:20:38.700 --> 00:20:50.880
Ela Law: You can do that if you if you can. If you can do, if you can manage that kind of I'm stopping and starting, which which is also a practice, isn't it? It's also something that we don't do automatically. We really have to

165
00:20:51.000 --> 00:20:53.770
Ela Law: make a conscious effort there to do that.

166
00:20:54.070 --> 00:21:07.780
Christine Chessman: But I just I love. I love what you've said about this, because I think people put so much pressure on themselves, and I have a lovely client at the minute, and she's like my head is just. There's so much going on in my head and it and it's because she's trying to do it all

167
00:21:07.930 --> 00:21:16.429
Christine Chessman: perfectly, and and she's trying to do all at once, and she uses the phrase back on track, or I'll get back on track, and I'm like, No, no, there's there's no track.

168
00:21:16.430 --> 00:21:17.290
Ela Law: Track.

169
00:21:17.290 --> 00:21:22.547
Christine Chessman: No track. Don't worry, it's all. And so I'm I'm trying to encourage you to do one thing

170
00:21:23.020 --> 00:21:29.029
Christine Chessman: a week. Whether that be, you know, have one bit of movement that isn't crazy, intense.

171
00:21:29.220 --> 00:21:31.939
Christine Chessman: Or if you have a day without movement.

172
00:21:31.960 --> 00:21:37.040
Christine Chessman: that's okay, kind of so little steps rather than thinking right? You've got to do.

173
00:21:37.140 --> 00:21:41.990
Christine Chessman: Yeah, cause it can. You know, in in addition to how scary it is, anyway, you don't want to overload.

174
00:21:43.210 --> 00:21:46.350
Christine Chessman: With, like, Yeah, here's a hundred things to do. And.

175
00:21:46.350 --> 00:21:46.960
Ela Law: Yeah.

176
00:21:47.280 --> 00:22:10.030
Christine Chessman: And one other thing that I wanted to draw on was that you were talking about. People want results now they wanna not results. But they want to be able to do intuitive eating now, and they wanna be like, you know their body to find its happy place, and they wanna be all sorted. That's diet culture, that is instant gratification. Right there, that is, we want the 12 week transformation.

177
00:22:10.440 --> 00:22:11.379
Ela Law: 100%.

178
00:22:11.380 --> 00:22:17.949
Christine Chessman: And as Evelyn said to us, It's like, How long have you been in diet culture? How long have you been doing intuitive eating.

179
00:22:17.950 --> 00:22:18.510
Ela Law: Yeah.

180
00:22:18.660 --> 00:22:22.090
Christine Chessman: You cannot expect to undo 30 years.

181
00:22:22.850 --> 00:22:23.490
Ela Law: Yeah.

182
00:22:23.490 --> 00:22:28.064
Christine Chessman: Of habitual eating and moving your body in 3 months.

183
00:22:28.480 --> 00:22:53.420
Ela Law: I say that all the time, and it is so difficult because it's such a. It's so ingrained in us that if we if we do this we will get results in weeks. We will just get it, and the number of if I get a pound. Every time a client has said to me, I thought I'd be further along by now I'd be so rich, but it is like that. It is really about slowing down, and by

184
00:22:53.420 --> 00:23:11.070
Ela Law: I know this is a bit of an overused phrase, but by trusting the process, and when people do that, it's absolutely, mind-blowingly beautiful to watch and to to notice what is going on for them, now that they have trusted and that they are, they are trusting that

185
00:23:11.230 --> 00:23:17.879
Ela Law: it. It is working out in a in a way that wasn't what they had in mind. But it's okay.

186
00:23:17.880 --> 00:23:41.679
Ela Law: It's all about learning. It's all about collecting data. If you want to approach it with a scientific lens. But it is about collecting data about yourself, and just to go back to that sort of fear around it that in and of itself can be really scary, because there's probably lots of stuff that you don't want to know about yourself, that you fear is going to come up, that you have to confront stuff that you don't like about yourself.

187
00:23:41.680 --> 00:23:44.480
Ela Law: things that you are worried about

188
00:23:44.620 --> 00:24:04.500
Ela Law: all those kind of things, but by actually trusting that it will be okay. And there is someone there to to hold your hand and hold space for you, and by actually giving yourself a lot of grace and working on self-compassion and kindness towards yourself. It is actually, really okay.

189
00:24:04.970 --> 00:24:05.950
Christine Chessman: Yeah.

190
00:24:05.950 --> 00:24:15.359
Ela Law: I love hearing that from clients that they say, well, I said, what have you noticed? And they said, Well, I'm a lot kinder to myself, and that always makes me feel really happy. I love that.

191
00:24:15.360 --> 00:24:29.000
Christine Chessman: It's I think, that that phrase can't be overused. I, I always say, always leads with self compassion, always like, no matter what you know you cannot fail. And innovating, you can't fail. It's all learning. It's all data, as you're saying.

192
00:24:29.580 --> 00:24:43.420
Christine Chessman: But I think I think, Ella, that's a lovely way to finish today, because we have got another. Amazing, your story, your body story coming up. And yeah with Leanna, so that will be next.

193
00:24:43.807 --> 00:24:54.532
Christine Chessman: But thank you, that was great. I enjoy chatting to you, and could obviously keep chatting, but for the purposes of our next podcast guest, who's waiting in the wings.

194
00:24:54.890 --> 00:24:55.510
Ela Law: That was.

195
00:24:55.510 --> 00:25:01.410
Christine Chessman: Sign off this week, so thank you, everybody for listening, and we will chat to you next week.

196
00:25:01.710 --> 00:25:03.519
Ela Law: Thank you. Bye.