Embracing Summer Without Weight Loss...

It's that time of year again... As the sun comes out, we are expected to neatly deal with the transition from winter to summer clothes - and our bodies are even more scrutinised than usual and critically assessed as to their suitability to wear bikinis as well as our skin-exposing summer wardrobes. 

We had a very personal conversation about straight-size privilege, the issue with bikinis, how transitioning from winter to summer can bring up all sorts of body image worries, how waiting for the 'perfect' body size will mean missing out on living and enjoying life, and much more (we ARE the queens of tangents..)

If any of the things we discussed resonated and you would like some support navigating them, please get in touch! 

Please reach out if you would like some support with your relationship to food OR movement. Ela currently has limited spaces for Intuitive Eating coaching and if you'd like to reconnect with movement, contact Christine.

AND if you enjoyed this episode, please share and follow the 'Find Your Strong podcast' and if you have time, write us a short review. It would honestly mean the world. Love to you all, Ela & Christine x

Transcript

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Christine Chessman: Hello and welcome to our podcast we've got a solo. Well, not solo, a double, but no guest episode today. And we're actually in the same location. Amazing, very exciting. Yes. So we were racking our brains, thinking about what to talk about with you today.

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Christine Chessman: And then we also didn't know whether we should look at you or look at each other, so we're going to do a mixture of both. But we thought it is getting warmer in the southeast of England at the minute. So we thought, why don't we talk about summer bodies and that transition from winter to summer.

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Christine Chessman: you know, showing a bit more skin, and how that can often bring with it a little bit of body image disruption. And yeah, sort of body confidence issues. I think. Generally.

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Christine Chessman: So, Ella, how do you feel about summer in terms of body image? Let's go right into it. Let's go right into it. I don't mind. I don't like summer. You don't like summer. No, I'm probably people probably throwing eggs at their screens right now. But yeah, I'm not a massive fan of summer. I don't. I don't. I don't like the heat

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Christine Chessman: but in terms of

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Christine Chessman: yeah, I suppose, in terms of clothes and what to wear. I I'm better now than I was. I think when I was younger I I felt a lot more self-conscious

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Christine Chessman: about my body. I wouldn't wear short shorts ever. It was always sort of up to the knee, probably because of you know, I don't know. I just didn't like my thighs. The one thing that I struggle with is wearing a bikini. Okay, okay, I am not a fan of the bikini.

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Christine Chessman: and I haven't quite worked out. Why, exactly, that is.

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Christine Chessman: And I wonder whether I need to sort of challenge myself. Should we break that down a little bit? So why is it the midriff? Is it this so? The belly can be a really tricky, sensitive

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Christine Chessman: area of the body. Count it for so many of us. If you've had children, if you've been teased about it, if you, it's. And also, yeah. And you might feel if you've got things like ibs, you might get bloated. So you're a bit more self-conscious. What is it? Specifically about Bikini. I don't know. I think it is for belly, but belly, it's definitely belly based. But

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Christine Chessman: yeah, I don't know. I just.

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Christine Chessman: I think, even with like a really skimpy swimsuit. I would feel a little bit too bare. Maybe that's the sort of prudishness letting everything hang out. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I haven't worn a bikini for years and years and years. Just feel more comfortable in a swimsuit. I mean, one thing that I have to say is, I find bikinis very impractical.

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Christine Chessman: Because if you jump in the water, yeah, and everything is flopping out, yeah, with a swimsuit, it's a little bit more that's in there.

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Christine Chessman: See what I mean? Yeah, get a spank. Yeah. Also, I really don't like those thongy bikini bottoms. And a lot of the really cute bikinis have that, and then your ass is hanging out.

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Christine Chessman: which I don't like. See my impression of Germans. Given that I lived with some Germans for a year or 2 was that they were always going to the Sauna. They're always naked in the Sauna. Yeah, you must not wear a swimsuit exactly. And you know they were just very comfortable with.

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Christine Chessman: I didn't grow up in a family like that, though it was a little bit less.

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Christine Chessman: Yeah, yeah, I'm the same. So we're a very British Presbyterian family, so I don't.

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Christine Chessman: Yes, so I don't think I've ever seen. I saw my mom in a swimsuit when we used to go to the swimming pool every Saturday night. But that was kind of it, that was it. Yeah, on holiday. We never went anywhere hot went to freaking Scotland. So yeah, well, it was never warm, exactly like umbrella and sweater. Yeah. But I do have to say that I do find it tricky. The transition of seasons. I love my opaque black tights. I feel very comfortable in them

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Christine Chessman: that they they're like leggings, but they're tight, so I can wear boots with them or trainers, and like little dresses with shorts and pockets, and

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Christine Chessman: I think good like that. And summer comes. I'm like I'm not ready to wear short shorts, so I kind of tend to wear little shorts underneath.

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Christine Chessman: You know what I mean like snive sorts underneath.

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Christine Chessman: So I do. I'm like you. I think I need to challenge myself a little bit. Do you wear tights in the summer, then? So I wear like footless tights like, you know, the snag ones like the chub rub and things like that which are brilliant. Yeah, just because I feel a bit more

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Christine Chessman: supportives, you know.

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Christine Chessman: Yeah, it's a funny one, isn't it? With?

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Christine Chessman: I just I don't know just bearing

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Christine Chessman: too much. And things being seen. I don't know. I don't know whether that's something to do with it.

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Christine Chessman: so it could be could be a mixture of your upbringing. It could be

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Christine Chessman: could be a mixture of a lot of things and not just body image stuff. Then is that what you're saying? Yeah, I would say for me, it's probably less to do with body image.

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Christine Chessman: because I don't really well, most of the time I don't really care.

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Christine Chessman: Hmm where stuff

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Christine Chessman: it probably has something. It's probably I probably need some therapy on this. But yeah, maybe I think it's probably something to do with bearing a lot more than I feel comfortable with. Okay? So and the question stands, then, you know, there's a lot of amazing influencers on social media who get reason, I because they want to normalize different types of bodies. And I really love that I love the fact that representation really matters.

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Christine Chessman: But I don't want to do that on my page, because I don't want to make it about my body in any way. Yeah, I want to detract from that definitely. Don't get me wrong, mind, body stuff tuning into the body all of that. But I don't feel that people need to have a look to see what my body, and you know, because people will judge either positively, negatively in between.

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Christine Chessman: Don't really want that to be a part of what I'm trying to get across. Yeah, isn't. That's not what you are about. Yes, right? Yeah, no. I get. It's a similar kind of thing in terms of nutrition. I don't show people what I eat in a day. In a day. I mean, I might make a funny video about, you know, what do I eat in a day? Open the fridge and then doing that? Because, you know, it's none of your business. What I eat in a day, and it really doesn't matter, because when you, as soon as you show yourself your body.

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Christine Chessman: you are offering it up for comparison. Yeah. And the battle grind is always the female body. This is it exactly. And whilst I completely think you know yes, we need to see all bodies, all shapes and sizes everything, and it should be just normal that all bodies are out there. I also see the predicament where you feel like

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Christine Chessman: it's this is not about my body, and I don't need to offer my body for you to compare yourself to, because very often people do that, and then they compare, they see something they compare

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Christine Chessman: whichever way that goes, that comparison. But it can be quite a challenging thing for people. And we, you know.

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Christine Chessman: we are both in a straight size body and a lot of people are not, and therefore that comparison is probably even more challenging, I would say, and I don't ever want people to work with me because they think oh, I want to be well, if I'm non diet, and I can still have a straight size, body and not I don't want that to be part of it. It's to do with. Do you like the style of teaching? Do you like kind of.

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Christine Chessman: So it's and I don't mind showing videos of me moving, because that's just

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Christine Chessman: organic meat. I'm moving in my body, which is really. But I don't really want to show posed

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Christine Chessman: Bikini photos. Do you wear bikinis? No, no. And again, maybe we both need a bit of therapy. I mean, I don't. So 1st of all, if I'm going to the beach with my kids.

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Christine Chessman: don't think they would be my 2 teenage girls. I don't think they want to see me in a bikini. Now that is me not modeling, isn't it? Because I should just? But I always make sure when they're there, that I get in a swimsuit. And I get in the sea. Yeah. So I'm not sitting there covered up, covered up. Yeah. Yeah. So they definitely see me getting in the sea and swimming, and all of that kind of stuff.

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Christine Chessman: Yeah, so that's an interesting thing that I just said there, because I'm I'm wondering. Is that a good thing or a bad thing that

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Christine Chessman: I don't know I mean with with everything. It's it's a case of do you actually like

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Christine Chessman: the idea of being in a bikini. But something's stopping you from wearing it, or do you

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Christine Chessman: have a sort of a neutral attitude to them? Or do you feel like, actually, I don't like them very much. So my issue lies from my Ibs, and it's something I've been doing a lot of work around Ibs, because I'm pretty sure we're talking about somatic stuff and mind, body approach to things. I've started reading a book called the Mind Body Approach by Nicole Sacks, and she works very closely with John Sarno's theory, which was all about.

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Christine Chessman: you know, journaling, getting all of your not repressing emotions, getting everything out there, and that generally chronic conditions, such as ibs are to do with repressed emotion and trauma. And and.

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Christine Chessman: interestingly, there was a guy that wrote a book who lived a street away from me, and I went to the Q. And a. And he said that people from his area in Belfast often had really dodgy tummies because of that hyper vigilance constantly hanging on. What's gonna happen? Something's wrong. So it's something that I'm doing a bit of work around. But I get bloated very easily. So if I eat lunch. Breakfast is fine. If I eat lunch I feel bloated, and then I don't want to be in a bikini. No.

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Christine Chessman: because I feel self-conscious.

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Christine Chessman: So I prefer a swimsuit. Is that weird? It's not weird. I would say. That's probably let's normalize that because the self-consciousness about a bigger tummy is real, isn't it? Because we're being told? Oh, it needs to be flat now, I think the majority of people do not have a flat tummy, but the majority of people who, you know, identify as female do not have a flat tummy. No, and neither should you know

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Christine Chessman: we're housing our youth absolutely, and it's not about whether my tummy is flat or not. It's because it feels so uncomfortable

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Christine Chessman: and distended beyond what my! Tell me. It's not my, it just feels like a place, so it's not about the size of it. It's just about how uncomfortable it feels when I've got cramps or bloating. So with a swimsuit, you kind of it feels like it's a bit a bit supportive. Yeah, you know what I mean.

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Christine Chessman: So if I'm you know, if I feel really not bloated and wonderful. I'd be much more inclined to wear a bikini. So that tends to dictate what I wear on any given day. Yeah, do you know what I mean. Yeah, I do. It's a tricky, it's it's I mean, generally it's a tricky transition, isn't it? Going from winter to to summer? I mean, we're talking. We're going straight into the Bikini talk, but I find I've had a few clients sort of mention how how worried they are about summer.

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Christine Chessman: You know, there's me privileged saying. I just don't like the heat. But for someone who is in a larger body the transition from winter to summer can be incredibly challenging, because in winter you can, you know, put big flouncy jumpers on and hide away. We're not outside as much. Yeah, we're not presenting ourselves to the world as much in the summer. It's a lot harder because everyone wants to meet outside. And we were talking before

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Christine Chessman: we came on about, you know, here in in Brighton. Everyone is outside. Everyone wants to meet at the beach. Yeah. And you don't want to sit there with your hoodie and and

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Christine Chessman: thick clothes when it you deserve to have the sun on your skin, we should have that the sun on your skin. It's very good.

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Christine Chessman: but I used to love in summer. I love a rainy day where I can just have an excuse to sit inside. Yeah, I love the summer, but I guess Northern Ireland you want to be. Feel a bit home. It's it's relentless. So if we have lots of hot weeks, we're at the beach all the time which this sounds like such 1st world problems. It's not good.

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Christine Chessman: But it's more. I, my social battery. Yeah, runs low. We were talking about this, and I just need to hide away a little bit and just relax. Yeah, I live indoors in the summer, when I'm at home. I don't go in the garden. I don't spend time outside. It's too hot. I don't like it. I get angry, get very angry. I get angry when I'm hot. I don't like it. If I'm on holiday, and there's a pool or the sea, I can kind of deal with it. Yeah.

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Christine Chessman: And home. When I have stuff to do, I literally windows are all closed. I'm indoors.

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Christine Chessman: I walk the dogs dog in the morning, really early, and maybe later on in the evening. But you do not find me sunbathing, sitting in the garden doing my work outside.

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Christine Chessman: but you know what else, in terms of heat and change of seasons and stuff like that you get a lot of fitness influencers who are saying just because it's 40 degrees. There's no excuse not to get your workout in, and I just want to tangent our whole conversation by saying, Yes, it is. Yes, because we're not used to that kind of heat in this country exactly, and it's very our houses don't have air conditioning. A lot of a lot of us live in flats.

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Christine Chessman: You heat rises. It can get very hot inside, so it is not a time unless you're in an air conditioned space. And you're feeling good. Yeah.

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Christine Chessman: Or you fancy some Bikram Yoga or not. Bikram.

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Christine Chessman: have you not watched the documentary. No, I haven't. Yeah, whatever the hot yoga is. If you want to do that in your heated apartment. Yeah, if you want a bit of hot. Yoga. Great. But yeah, I'm just of the mindset that you need to sort of tune into your body and give yourself grace and be compassionate to yourself in terms of moving your body. And anyway, yeah, tangent over. Well, let's move that tangent

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Christine Chessman: back to clothes, because in the heat, when you exercise and you sweat much more, and you're running around and you're wearing short clothes. You've got all of the rub factor, all of the sweat factor. It's a very different ball game, then isn't it absolutely so? It's not as simple as just to, you know. Continue with your workout. You need to find the right clothes as well

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Christine Chessman: depending on what body you find yourself, and it's not as simple as to. And you know, maybe clothes do play a role in summer as well, it's finding something that you feel comfortable in. But then.

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Christine Chessman: at what point should you push out? We were talking? When should you push out of your comfort zone. When should you let yourself

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Christine Chessman: feel the sun on your skin? Yeah, yeah. I mean, we need to start with that. Everyone has the right to feel the sun on their skin if they choose. 100, and no one should be judged for showing their skin whatever they choose to wear.

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Christine Chessman: But people will be judged. We live in this society. That is the case. And the patriarchal society were

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Christine Chessman: at the moment a certain body type is in. Yeah. And you know we've all heard of skinny talk, and all of that at the minute a very thin body is in that will change as it does every 10 years or less than that, it just goes round and round and round. You can't fit your body to whatever trend is happening at the moment. So at some point we have to accept our current

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Christine Chessman: bodies. Yes, because otherwise your life is just. Yes.

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Christine Chessman: not fun exactly. It's not fun exactly, and you can't enjoy food, and you can't just enjoy life.

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Christine Chessman: So yeah, and it stops you from doing stuff. And but there, there is a judgment, and we can't. We can't say there isn't.

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Christine Chessman: If you have thin privilege, you get treated differently, and I think that is

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Christine Chessman: a horrendous thing. And there's, you know, that's

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Christine Chessman: that goes across many different things, not just about weight stigma, but a lot of different factors and discrimination and

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Christine Chessman: intersectionality. And we we can talk about that another time. But

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Christine Chessman: I don't know how you feel about that.

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Christine Chessman: So what if somebody? So we're sitting here talking from? Oh, we have straight size bodies, and we're talking about how self-conscious we might be.

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Christine Chessman: but we will not be judged in the same way. No, absolutely not. So. What advice could we give to somebody else.

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Christine Chessman: Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I know what you mean. I I don't. I don't have a straightforward answer to that, because it's very easy for us to say stuff

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Christine Chessman: when we don't have the lived experience? Exactly. I mean, I think it's a lot of it has to do with flexing that self-compassion muscle, and and understanding that. Yes, it it feels really hard to brave it and ignore. Well, not ignore, but

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Christine Chessman: to to do it anyway, to see what I mean to do it, anyway. Yeah, to do it, anyway. I think it's a case of really thinking about. What do you

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Christine Chessman: do you want the bastards to win.

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Christine Chessman: and they win. If you stay at home.

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Christine Chessman: yeah, or you don't do the thing, or if you

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Christine Chessman: say, Oh, I'll do it when I've lost weight. And it's it's always I always comes back to thinking of who's going to profit off this negative thought that I'm having about my body exactly. It's how you know. We had the chat with Damali Fraser, and she was like capitalism sucks. And it is true somebody's trying to make money off the fact that you feel

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Christine Chessman: not quite enough in the body that you're in, and they project this unattainable body that actually nobody, or maybe not point, not 1% of the population naturally are in that we're supposed to aspire towards.

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Christine Chessman: which is a very white patriarchal version of what bodies should be. And where there's a ray of bodies and body, diversity is what makes up the world. What makes it interesting? What you know we're not the same. We're all entirely different. Yeah. And it's

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Christine Chessman: I. I just think it's quite sad. I don't know. Oh, yeah, yeah, it really is. I mean, the the

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Christine Chessman: the thing is, if you think about if you put yourself into somebody else's shoes, and you wanted to, or or you or you think about a friend, just think about a friend rather than yourself

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Christine Chessman: when you spend time with them. Do you want them to

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Christine Chessman: to be present? Be there with you, have fun. Do you want them to enjoy themselves?

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Christine Chessman: Or do you want them to make excuses for not not coming out? Do you want them to make excuses for not not going in the water. Do you want them to make excuses for not coming to the party, whatever it is? Or do you want them there present having fun because they're your friend.

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Christine Chessman: and you can flip that over to you and say your friends are really not that bothered about.

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Christine Chessman: but they're not what I mean, you look like in a swimsuit. They just want you there. They just want to spend time with you. I think that's such a good point, and I remember a friend once said to me, she was like, I'm not going to sit and go. Yeah, I like Christine, but if she just lose those 5 points. And it is we care. Yeah. And I think people who will

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Christine Chessman: make comments.

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Christine Chessman: They care. So if you are commenting on somebody else's body, it's generally a reflection of your own insecurities, isn't it?

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Christine Chessman: Do you know what I mean? And yeah, and that says more about the person commenting on your body than it does about your body. There's nothing wrong with your body. Yeah. Doesn't mean it's not hard to hear those comments. It's still it knocks you, and it's really tough.

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Christine Chessman: But I always sort of think about that flexing, that muscle of resilience. Yeah, and saying, Well, do you want that that attitude to win. Do you want that to stop you from living your life and enjoying yourself?

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Christine Chessman: And it's you know we're we're. I've had comments. I think we've all had comments that have, whether you've had eating disorders, disordered eating, whether you've ever been on a diet that have triggered that behavior.

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Christine Chessman: and I remember several comments when I was a teenager of people, kind of saying, Oh, I'm going to breathe in Christine's walking past, or so that so they have room because there's so much space, or, you know, maybe stop eating so many chips, Christine or not. Everybody can have a nice, bigger Christine, just things like that. And I read such

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Christine Chessman: little tiny comments. But at that age when you're insecure, anyway, in your teenage years. Yeah, that did spiral me. It's a simple comment like that. I'm not saying that caused an eating disorder, because obviously, there's so many different factors and contributing factors. But it's certainly

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Christine Chessman: stuck in my head. Yeah, you know. And that is direct comments. Oh, yeah, even the indirect comments can really trigger something if you hear somebody talk about somebody else's body, and you feel like, oh, well, I'm bigger than that, or I look the same, or and you you internalize that. You take that on yourself, even if the person doesn't say it directly to you as well.

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Christine Chessman: But

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Christine Chessman: so what I mean, the only thing we can say is, do not comment on people's bodies, and of full stop like in no way, shape or form. But but people do. Yeah. So what do we do in a conversation where you're sitting in a group of people and people. If this is.

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Christine Chessman: you know, I try and shut it down. Yeah, how do you shut it down, then? What do you say? Well, I have kind of spoken to all of my friends that I would see regularly, and said, Do not comment on my children's bodies. Yeah.

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Christine Chessman: and that is something I feel incredibly passionate about. Yeah.

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Christine Chessman: Because has that happened before then? Yes, that has happened before. Whether it's seen as positive and adverted commas, or whatever it has no place. No, and I do feel incredibly passionate about that. And people are not coming from a bad place. It is learned behavior.

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Christine Chessman: but it there's no good can come of it. Never. Do you know what I mean? There's no positive. Because if you if, for example, you've been ill or you have lost weight, and somebody goes. Oh, you look amazing. You're like, Oh, I didn't look amazing before. Yeah, then I better keep, you know. And then if you do put weight back on. Then you feel, not quite. Yeah. So it's it's it's just not, it's never. Do you remember comments

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Christine Chessman: I remember? So again, this comes, this comes from a place of thin privilege. Yes, I remember the opposite comments where people sort of commented. Oh, you're so lovely and slim, but that puts the fear of weight gain into your mind, because are you not lovely anymore if you put on weight? And I think I have gained quite a bit of weight over the years. I used to be in a smaller body, and I'm still straight size, but

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Christine Chessman: that is still in my head, and I know exactly the people who said those things. So I have a bit of a funny feeling when I meet the people. Now that I don't see very often who said those things because I am bigger than I was.

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Christine Chessman: Whether they remember it or not I don't know, but it's stuck in my head. I know exactly who said those things, and then you feel and I know this. This is, you know. Boohoo me! But you know it's it's it's it's just an example of what can stick with you. But I think it's so. I had this chat with Jill Angie, who, I am desperate to get back on the podcast so we'll have to do it. Who's at your not your average runner. And I was sort of

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Christine Chessman: apologizing for myself by saying, I have body image issues. But I know I have thin privilege, and I should. And she was like you. You're allowed to talk to the issues that you have. Everybody has insecurities in their own way.

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Christine Chessman: Obviously the outside world, in terms of how we're judged is different. But it doesn't mean that you can't feel a lot of pain and shame about your own body, and how you relate to it, etc. Yeah, so, and I think that was a really good point. Yeah,

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Christine Chessman: and I don't have the lived experience of being in a larger body, but I have lived experience of having decades of eating disorders. So that's always a lens that I look at these issues through.

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Christine Chessman: And yeah, sorry. It's interesting. What sticks out. That's why I'm so passionate about language to do with body, with food, anything, because it is something that we internalize quite a lot, and quite easily, and especially as you said about your children. And you don't want anyone to comment about their bodies or bodies in general in front of them.

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Christine Chessman: I just think it's the same thing with like bodies and food. It sticks, and we say things so carelessly. We don't think about it, and we make comments. And we think we're giving someone a compliment, even, you know. Oh, you're so! You're so lovely and slim. Or oh, you've lost weight. You look amazing. Those comments can be incredibly harmful, incredibly harmful. We've talked about this so many times. It rolls off the tongue. Oh, my goodness, you look so good if you lost weight, what?

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Christine Chessman: What? Yeah? Why, is that even a thing? When did it become a thing to comment. I mean, I don't. Do you think I think it's okay to say to somebody, Oh, you look amazing. Yeah. But it doesn't have to do with weight.

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Christine Chessman: It doesn't have to be right. It doesn't, neither. It should be. No. But then, should you take the focus away completely? That's what I've been doing. Okay. I don't. And I think people have noticed that I don't comment on appearances generally. Every now and again it slips out. But it's probably because I really love the outfit, or I love people with cool glasses or cool haircuts, or something like that, so I might make a comment on that. But I have really made a huge effort not to comment on

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Christine Chessman: people's appearance, much in particular with my daughter.

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Christine Chessman: almost to the extent that she's sort of saying, Oh, mommy, look! Look at my hair! Look at look like she wants that, and like there's so much more about you than, and she's like, oh, here we go again. I I'm the I've sort of got into a bad pattern with that, because I think.

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Christine Chessman: having sort of a daughter with an eating disorder that I think I overcompensated.

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Christine Chessman: And so all I do is go. So I have for for a long time gone. Oh, you look beautiful here with.

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Christine Chessman: you know, exactly as you are. But then that is putting the emphasis still on the appearance. Yeah. But isn't it also important to let her know that it's weird. It's a fine line, isn't it? But then it's showing how I value that. Yeah, that is true. Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

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Christine Chessman: And

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Christine Chessman: and if I was to say, Looks don't matter. That's not true, either. No, it isn't so. It's it's 1 of those I remember a friend sort of pulling me up on that, I said, you know, I tell my kids how amazing they are and how gorgeous they are every day. And she went. So you're telling them that that's important, and I'm like.

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Christine Chessman: damn it! Do you know what I mean? It is so hard. I like really hard. I mean, my daughter actually stops like if I say, Oh, that you look cute today. She's like

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Christine Chessman: cause I don't. Oh, I don't often say that.

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Christine Chessman: And then I pedal back. It's like, yeah, but it's not the most important thing about you. And she's like, Here we go again. But it's it's not. No, it isn't absolutely not. But I think at their age

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Christine Chessman: very often they define themselves by the way they look, and that's the really important thing. And with social media and selfies, and all of these photo apps that you you use. I think it becomes a bit of a thing that

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Christine Chessman: takes over very easily.

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Christine Chessman: So I I don't know what's right or wrong, and I think all of us are just trying to do the best, absolutely in terms of, you know, raising our kids to not have to fit into a certain body and to be themselves and to take up space. But Hi! So this whole episode has been a difficult one, I think for me. I still have massive body image issues, and I'm not scared to say that because I battle with it all the time.

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Christine Chessman: But the one thing that helps me is getting into my body and moving it. I'm not talking about obsessive exercise, but I'm talking about just feeling so going for a little run, or moving like some dance or mobility, or pressing a wave above my head, makes me feel better about my body. Not because I'm

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Christine Chessman: you know, toning my muscles and inverted commas. But just because I'm connecting with it. Yeah.

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Christine Chessman: And I'm seeing what it can do. And I'm do you know what I mean? Yes, you're befriending it, befriending it. Yeah, if you're not listening to it exactly. Yeah. This is sort of reciprocal relationship here.

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Christine Chessman: Yes, and get to know it a little bit. Yeah, exactly. And if you don't know your body, how can you be friends? How can you be, you know, in tune. How can you like it? Because it's scary if you don't know it? What? So do you do you struggle at all, or is it sometimes? Yeah. And what? What? Particularly see getting personal? What would you? Is it

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Christine Chessman: something that will take over? Or is it just a little? It's a little it used to take over. It used to make me feel quite upset, but when I couldn't find anything that I felt looked good on me or going out, and I just I had. I was bloated, or you know that kind of thing. I had an instant instance this morning. Actually, I wanted to wear this really cute jumpsuit that I had last year, and I put it on. And I thought, Jesus, my ass, is eating the back, and my tummy is popping the buttons

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Christine Chessman: so obviously. That means that since last summer I've put on some weight, and it used to be one of those. Oh, my God! And I folded it up and put it in the charity shop bag and chose something else to wear something loose fitting that I felt comfortable in today. So I have come a long way in in a sense that you know that used to throw me. But now I just say, Well, what can I do?

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Christine Chessman: This is my body. That is a really, I think Brie Campos has done some episodes about this, because it's we deserve to have clothes that feel good on us, and it's not our fault if the clothes don't fit us. It's not our body's fault.

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Christine Chessman: It's the clothes we should need different clothes, but but it is a disrupting moment it can be for many people. Yeah, I think we need to acknowledge that it's a disruptor. We need to acknowledge that sometimes recovering from that, depending on our bandwidth where we are maybe in our psych, or whatever that that can be a real like. Oh, shit moment! Yes, it can, and it can spiral. You can spiral 100,

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Christine Chessman: and then you can start thinking, oh, maybe I'll just restrict. Maybe I'll start cutting down. Yeah.

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Christine Chessman: And that is, and it is sitting with that. Yes, and going. There's nothing wrong with my body, you know. Bodies change which they do, and I deserve to have clothes that feel comfortable right now, not in 6 months or last year, or anything like that. That's hard.

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Christine Chessman: Oh, God, it's very hard, absolutely, and it doesn't just happen overnight, but I think this is the thing I keep saying, flexing your muscle. But this is what you're training, and when I do body image work with clients. I I say, this is not. You're not going to overnight. Love your body. But can I invite you to maybe accept it for today and look after it in whatever way serves you on that day by wearing looser clothes, by doing something by being in your body. I love what you said about

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Christine Chessman: connecting with your body by gonna let my car out, you take

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Christine Chessman: you can come and join us. So I'm gonna put her outside.

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Christine Chessman: She is so adorable.

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Christine Chessman: But yeah, what you said about

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Christine Chessman: connecting with your body, I think that is a massive part of the puzzle of body image work is to be in your body, because then you are

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Christine Chessman: accepting it as the vessel that you live in, the thing that gets you from A to B. The thing that makes you lift stuff, hug people all these things, and it's I find getting to know your body in terms of. And I always ask clients.

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Christine Chessman: So if you move your shoulders, notice which shoulder feelings tighter, which one feels getting to know different muscles, different joints. That's to me all part of getting to know your body? Yeah, and how does that feel compared to this? Do you feel safe in this movement? How's this? It's just taking that time.

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Christine Chessman: And you know, what about the chair that you're sitting in? Is it comfortable, or could you move a little bit? Could you make it more comfortable? Could you get a cushion? Could you making things

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Christine Chessman: get to know what your body needs, what it likes? What it really helps, doesn't it? It does. So if you have a client who has maybe a chronic, we're moving completely away from summer bodies. But I want to know. No, it's all relevant. If you have a client who's maybe got a chronic

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Christine Chessman: condition. That means their body is not working the way that they would like it to, or they have pain, or what? That's even harder than to accept your body, isn't it? I always think it's you have to kind of think of your body in terms of what

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Christine Chessman: it can do. No, that's really freaking hard, especially so. I couldn't run for a period of 6 months to a year because of a knee injury. And it wasn't a typical. It was because I fell on my knee because I do that, and I find that really hard, and that's nothing. That's just a blip, a little like drop in the ocean. And some people have got

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Christine Chessman: chronic conditions that you're living with or disabilities. A lot of people have got issues where they can't move

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Christine Chessman: in the same way that they used to be able to move for whatever reason. And that's a real difficult one. Yeah. And it's and but it's trying to again, not look back to. Oh, I used to be able to do this.

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Christine Chessman: It's like, what can I do now that feels good. Yeah. So focusing on the moment, what can I do? So maybe so, I've got a number of clients who used to run, and maybe they've had knee replacements, and they have been advised not to run anymore. They don't feel safe running or comfortable running. And it's

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Christine Chessman: looking back, kind of thinking, okay, what did you enjoy about running? What did you love about it? Was it the camaraderie? Was it the social aspect? Was it the endorphins? Was it getting your heart rate up, was it? What was it specifically about running? Was it that space, that time in your own getting outside, you know, trying to work out. What was the sensation, or what are you missing most about it? And how can we recreate that right

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Christine Chessman: currently where you are at this point?

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Christine Chessman: Because there is an access point for everybody. Yeah, certainly for strength training. There's an access point for everybody.

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Christine Chessman: So would you like.

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Christine Chessman: yeah, I would. It's interesting, because I just my head went to parallels. Slight slight tangent, but almost parallel in terms of I have a lot of people who say

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Christine Chessman: I can really have. I've no issues with food. When I go on holiday

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Christine Chessman: I'm fine. I eat what I want. I eat when I want feel very intuitive about it, and I always ask, Well, what's different when you're on holiday? And then we look at how can we recreate a little bit of that in your day to day life because there is something when you're on holiday, when you relax, you don't have all of the shit going on at home. You don't have to work. You're not stressed. So that's often what comes out. Well, I wasn't stressed, and I should go on holiday with little kids, and that's Oh, my God, that's not fun!

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Christine Chessman: Don't! Don't! Just don't just stay at home. Save your money. Get get someone to look after them and go on holiday. Yeah, but yeah, it. And and very often that's what comes out. It's the stress level. And I'm like, Okay, well, how can we de-stress in your day-to-day life to recreate a little bit of that.

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Christine Chessman: And that's often quite. Oh, okay, it's a similar kind of idea, isn't it? Where you? What did you love about running even you can't run. What can we recreate? That gives you a little bit of that? Maybe not exactly that. But do you? Do you find a lot of clients tend to

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Christine Chessman: like, eat whatever they want, and then come back feeling, oh, I need to restrict now, because I've eaten too much. There is that there is that? But I've also had quite a few people who say, Oh, on holiday I don't really worry. I go out.

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Christine Chessman: you know. Don't think about it as much I don't think about. I wear my swimsuit. Yeah, because there's nobody you know. There we go.

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Christine Chessman: You don't care where you go. You don't care as much. But also, I wonder now this is thinking aloud, you don't care as much. A. Because maybe you don't know necessarily know all of the people, or you're with people that you know very well, and you don't really mind what they you know that you know that they love you. But also I wonder whether

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Christine Chessman: our bodies are the scapegoat for whatever worries. Oh, you nail on the head!

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Christine Chessman: Do you know, when you're at home, and you have a stressful life work, whatever

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Christine Chessman: you're going to blame your body much more easily than when it's almost like a comfortable thing to think about. It's uncomfortable, but it's a it's safe in the fact that you know this feeling. Yes, so you know this feeling of like Oh, my thighs are too big, or I don't. I look old, or that's

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Christine Chessman: knocking yourself. That's just something that you've gone to for decades. I'm not sure it's a natural. It's almost like a protective, absolutely mechanism, which is not healthy and isn't serving us.

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Christine Chessman: But it almost means easier than dealing with. This is this is exactly. It is easier to deal with the body that you you can. You can blame your body for everything. Yeah, it's easier than actually dealing with.

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Christine Chessman: Oh, I need to change jobs. I need to leave my partner. I find it really hard to be a parent, whatever it is admitting to that is just, yeah. Let's not go there, let's just blame our body for unhappiness. And it's yeah. And I had similar thing with grief, because I you know, it quickly jumped from

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Christine Chessman: thinking about losing my mom to oh, what's wrong with me, or what do I need to do more of, or what eye cream do I need, or what? And it's

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Christine Chessman: and it wasn't about that. And it's I love those moments where I go. It's not about this, it's not about the body, it's about what else is going on that I can't fit. Yeah. And I think we knew.

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Christine Chessman: Just step back. And you see that I think it can be a game changer, can't it? Yeah, what else is going on? What else is going on? That's that's the one to ask yourself what else is going on? What else is going on. So that's I think that's a perfect point to end on. I think it's yeah. And I'm just gonna check how long we've been chatting for quite a long time. You're welcome. Yeah. So I don't know if we came to any conclusion apart from the fact that

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Christine Chessman: be kind to yourself, maybe. Yeah, don't miss out on things flex. That muscle of resilience against yeah. Body image comments, concerns, worries.

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Christine Chessman: and be kind to yourself and be compassionate with yourself and get to know your body. That's it. So just see, you know, just tune in even a tiny bit a couple of minutes a day. Just kind of asking your body what it needs, or how it would be more comfortable. Or I think that could. Yeah, quite different. I love that and notice what else is going on.

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Christine Chessman: I think, become aware that become maybe become aware when you use your body as an excuse

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Christine Chessman: and think about what else is going on there, really, what's underneath it? Oh, you're a wise woman, and you yeah.

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Christine Chessman: so thank you for joining us this week, and we will be nice to hang out. Oh, we should do a little, Selfie, we will do but thank you for joining us, and we will be here next week with I don't know what's going to happen. So have a lovely sunny week wherever you are in the world, and we'll see you next time. Bye.